OPTIMISM 👍🏼
BLESSING OR CURSE?
Apart from being a hopeless romantic, I am also an incurable optimist. People have made fun of me for both, and it doesn’t bother me in the least. I would prefer to be ridiculed than walk through life with my head bowed down without romance or optimism. Don’t get me wrong, I do not run around grinning stupidly finding everything wonderful and beautiful, seeing only the good. As with most things, it is a balance of optimism, realism, and a dash of pessimism. And yet, I have somehow managed to preserve my sense of optimism and try - sometimes more and sometimes less successful - to see the good or at least a solution to make situations more bearable.
Having clarified where I stand, let’s talk about optimism.
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." — Winston Churchill
I am not a big fan of extremes so to me optimism does not mean engaging in wishful or fantastic thinking. Optimism is more a way of looking at the world that gives more merit to an optimist as being at least partly responsible when things are going well.
I believe we all know that an optimistic outlook and a positive mindset have many benefits that the constant nay-sayers may not have access to. Optimists often have healthier outlooks and tend to even live longer than their more pessimistic counterparts - at least that is what some scientists claim. It’s quite simple; optimists are in general less susceptible to the negative effects of illness, fatigue, and even depression. I realise that some may see this as esoteric poppycock - and perhaps it is - yet a little change in mindset can bring on overall change in many aspects. One of the simplest examples is when you are not feeling well. You can tell yourself that are ‘sick’ or you can change the narrative to that you are ‘healing’. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
However, an unrealistic belief that our life and future will be full of only positive events and that we can change our lives just with our positive attitude and without taking action is simply delusional. Again, it’s all about balance.
Having a more positive outlook on life comes with one or the other benefit though, as optimists tend to look for meaning in adversity, which can make them more resilient. The physical benefits can be amazing as it can affect and improve immune and cardiovascular function, it can help buffer the negative effects of physical illness, and even improve pain management.
Of course, there are also downsides to optimism. Especially in romantic relationships, it can be rather challenging. I spoke about being a hopeless romantic in the beginning. To me this doesn’t mean that I expect the knight in shining armour to appear, ride into the sunset with me, and live happily ever after. That is not optimism that is classic delusion and the unhealthy Hollywood idea of romance.
A positive and optimistic attitude can bring partners closer together, too much optimism though, can lead to extremely high expectations that are most likely impossible for anyone to meet - ever. Also, if you only see the bright side of a relationship you might fail to acknowledge the road bumps and may not be able to develop the problem-solving skills needed during the difficult times that are sure to come. This can eventually lead to the failure of the relationship.
I believe that optimism gives us hope. Optimism gives us the feeling that we have some power to change our circumstances for the better. Optimism gives me a semblance of free will - something we cannot take for granted in our crazy upside-down world. I believe that optimists are more likely to see the causes of failure or negative experiences as temporary rather than permanent. Such a perspective enables optimists to more easily see the possibility of change.
Optimism as I see it is something only you can decide on, depending on the situation you are in. Of course, it can be helpful to cope with certain situations.
“Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.” — Voltaire
What I personally despise or even find condescending is when people tell you to ‘lighten up’ or put a ‘smile’ on your face. I don't like being commanded to be positive - all the time and no matter the circumstances. Sometimes, lighting up or smiling just isn't what a situation demands. Optimism is NOT an all-purpose remedy for everything that ails us.
Balancing optimism, pessimism, and realism is the challenge we face every day. But we need them all, as tempering a sunny disposition with a small (and sometimes larger) dose of realism, or even pessimism, can be the best way to build resilience and actually achieve goals. That dose of realism about the risks involved can even make success more likely.
“The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to his enemy.” — Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I believe I have shared my personal view - being called a conspiracy realist and losing many readers - in the past, on what has been happening in the world for the past years, I have somehow - and believe me when I tell you I have struggled with it many times - kept my positive outlook that good will prevail over evil in the end. I don’t know if I will live to see it, but I do pray my children will.
🎶My Song for you
I chose this brilliant song by Eric Clapton - Change The World…
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
📚My Poem for you
Is by Thomas Hardy (1840-1928)
Song Of Hope
O sweet To-morrow! – After to-day There will away This sense of sorrow. Then let us borrow Hope, for a gleaming Soon will be streaming, Dimmed by no gray – No gray! While the winds wing us Sighs from The Gone, Nearer to dawn Minute-beats bring us; When there will sing us Larks of a glory Waiting our story Further anon – Anon!
👀Impression
I thought I had missed the concert of one of my favourite artists as I was traveling when the original concert was planned. It was postponed though and of course it was sold out. I actually managed to get a ticket and will see Beth Hart on Monday…🎶
And I had to share one of my favourite songs…
What is your take on optimism? How do you see the world?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a ❤️ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.
Wishing you a happy weekend wherever you are.
Yours
Tanja 🤗
Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch
I'm 63 years old and still dream of living on a small farm, like 5-10 acres, growing a good vegetable garden, flowers, having chickens and goats and playing with my as yet unborn (and not even in the pipeline yet) grandchildren. That's my form of optimism. My mother had it, too, was not ready to leave this world when she, at age 83, went in for a lung biopsy to assure she could withstand shoulder surgery. She bled out on the table and was gone in minutes. She wanted to live for a good long time. I do, too. My husband says he would like to see our children get married, but that's about it. He has no inclination to pursue new things. His thoughts and ideas have been formed and are permanent.
Some great insights here Tanja and I've often wondered if an optimistic nature is acquired or inherited. It does seem a character trait that is inherent in some way.
I didn't know of Beth Hart but she must be an optimist judging from the song you shared. (By the way - great voice and excellent and simple backing). Just looking at Beth and looking at the way she sang the song - I don't think I'd like to get into a fight with her - she looks pretty tough!
It struck me that optimism has some commonality with faith - and interesting to see the Bonhoeffer quote. It has strong elements of the definition given in the Book of Hebrews: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) - there is quite an interesting an long section in the rest of Hebrews Chapter 11.
I suppose that the long answer is that you have to understand on what you base your optimism; otherwise, it is just wishful thinking.
Australians have this as part of their character. When the bad bushfires were ravaging the mountains around here and in Sydney in 2019, I saw a young man being interviewed in a singlet and shorts, standing with a tiny stream of water coming out of a hose. In the background, you could see flames about 100m high (they were probably further away than they looked). The reporter asked him: "Are you worried?" The young man answered: "No, I reckon it will be alright!" I remember being staggered and thinking - that's optimism, but it may be fatal. This I think is the Australian character which could be why 98% people took the COVID vaccines.
Thanks for giving us, as usual, something to consider