Ha! I am hilariously bad at saying no, it has to be quite a special occasion when I will say it. Usually, it is the other person overstepping themselves, rather than me making a robust statement. I'll taker that for now as a minimum achievement - I am not a total walk over. I do find it easier as a freelancer to say no to work stuff, rather than I do in my personal life, not sure why that is? Maybe it's because it directly affects my family.
Spock the cat looks like he has found the ultimate way of not even saying no—just ignore everything! Tanja, this was a great and helpful post, and I particularly liked the quote from Pythagoras. Saying no is difficult but really defines our lives because otherwise, we have no filter for anything we do. The Boundaries book by Cloud and Townshend is useful in this area because most of us don't really understand our own motivations, and we end up saying yes to things that damage us.
I absolutely agree, Reuben, not knowing our own motivations, that lack of self awareness makes it difficult to even understand our own boundaries. That is the main reason why I love to work with the Enneagram.
As I age, I get better and better at saying No. It is very liberating. In fact I say No so often now that I almost feel guilty for rarely saying Yes, but then I come to my senses and remind myself to say No! It’s a lovely stage of Life!
Ha! I am hilariously bad at saying no, it has to be quite a special occasion when I will say it. Usually, it is the other person overstepping themselves, rather than me making a robust statement. I'll taker that for now as a minimum achievement - I am not a total walk over. I do find it easier as a freelancer to say no to work stuff, rather than I do in my personal life, not sure why that is? Maybe it's because it directly affects my family.
Thank you for your very honest feedback. At least you know that you rather say yes than no and admit to it. Knowing why would be the next step 😉.
Spock the cat looks like he has found the ultimate way of not even saying no—just ignore everything! Tanja, this was a great and helpful post, and I particularly liked the quote from Pythagoras. Saying no is difficult but really defines our lives because otherwise, we have no filter for anything we do. The Boundaries book by Cloud and Townshend is useful in this area because most of us don't really understand our own motivations, and we end up saying yes to things that damage us.
Spock has this great way of not giving a ...!
I absolutely agree, Reuben, not knowing our own motivations, that lack of self awareness makes it difficult to even understand our own boundaries. That is the main reason why I love to work with the Enneagram.
As I age, I get better and better at saying No. It is very liberating. In fact I say No so often now that I almost feel guilty for rarely saying Yes, but then I come to my senses and remind myself to say No! It’s a lovely stage of Life!
I can absolutely relate, Patti, it’s perhaps one of the perks of age… happy weekend!