PERFECT MOMENTS 🌳

AND HOW WE SHOULD TREASURE THEM

Ten years ago today, I had the great pleasure of experiencing one of those absolutely perfect moments in my life. I will not go into too much detail about this moment as that story is just a tad too personal, yet it is one of those moments that you can treasure and appreciate for the rest of your life.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” — Cesare Pavese

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So often we chase happiness and perfect moments or experiences, trying desperately to recreate these instead of treasuring them as we should. It took me quite some time to realise this - I guess I can be slow at times and perhaps what I am writing today is perfectly clear to you already.

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.” — Maurice Chevalier

Happiness is in moments that pass us by so quickly and sometimes almost unnoticed. The older I get the more I treasure these moments and the more I appreciate having had them. Sometimes we tend to look back and idealise those moments and sometimes we do the exact opposite. When we do idealise them, we often go into a state of lack as we crave those feelings we had at that moment to come back. Doing the opposite can have different reasons. Perhaps we feel underserving, perhaps we crave something bigger and better. I believe both extremes are unhealthy and take away the credit from beautiful moments. To me, the only thing that really matters is that when I think of those rare moments, they put a smile on my face and often I can even relive how I felt in that moment which is the true treasure. There are two other perfect moments that I will share gladly here, that I can conjure at a moment's notice. The two most perfect and happiest moments of my life - the births of my two children. I don’t want this to turn into another post about gratitude and appreciation, yet these do have a lot to do with the ability to recognise these rare perfect moments in the first place.

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We all know that life can drone along at a certain hum for years and years and then suddenly break into one of those brief yet glorious moments that change us forever. Those moments - I do love to call them perfect moments - are impossible to predict or to orchestrate and in my opinion that is exactly their charm and what makes them so perfect and memorable in the first place.

Imagine your favourite food in the world and how happy it makes you to eat it. Now imagine you would eat that same food for the rest of your life, every single day, nothing else. It would quickly turn into simple sustenance instead of a delight that makes you happy.

“My daughter and I have this thing we call a PMA: 'perfect moment alert.' I try to really notice when we're having a PMA.” — Nina Jacobson

Everyone's life has its superlative moments, those times when we feel extraordinary and our experiences are recorded as memories that stay with us for the rest of our lives as treasures to keep.

In 1964 the psychologist Maslow famously coined the term "peak experience" to denote sudden feelings of intense well-being that fill us with that certain wonder and awe. I believe it is the quality and of course, the intensity of the experience that makes it so very memorable and turns them into long-term treasures. To be able to store these memories they always have to be in a close association with intense emotion.

“The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.” — Ashley Montagu

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Looking back on my life I can say with absolute certainty that each and every one of those perfect moments has changed my life every single time significantly and always for the better! I don’t know when or if there will be more of these moments - I am rather certain there will be a lot more - but having had these moments and recognising them as such is something I will always be truly grateful for.

“The most beautiful things are not associated with money; they are memories and moments. If you don't celebrate those, they can pass you by.” — Alek Wek

One way to recognise these moments is to trust your intuition, or your gut feeling more. Our first instinct is almost always correct, in many cases, we have just forgotten to listen to it.

Of course, there is no Ying without a Yang. I believe our ability to experience joy and suffering are closely connected. I am one of those who experiences both sides very strongly and I would not want it any other way. Especially in times when things may not seem to be going all too well, I can always find some comfort in the memories and joy of my perfect moments. No matter what life has thrown at me - and it has been a lot at times - it has never managed to crush my optimism, my ability to see the beauty around me, and to notice those perfect moments. Admittedly, I have had phases in life where I thought I had lost all of that and have always managed somehow, and perhaps with the help of my perfect moments, to come back to who I really am, a hopeless optimist! 

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🎶My Song for you

Is one I truly love and it has been covered a gazillion times. This is my favourite version of Feeling Good by the amazing Nina Simone.

For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!

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📚My Poem for you

Is by Jalaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

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👀Impression

Part of one of my perfect moments was this very old and beautiful lime tree…

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What perfect moments have you had in your life and how have they changed it?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a ❤️ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.

Wishing you a perfect day wherever you are.

Yours

Tanja 🤗

Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch