thank you so much for your comment and for sharing your story. I am truly happy for you that you and you children got away and that you are healing. It is often difficult to explain what you encountered and for others to understand. You do not see a wounded soul. I believe that knowing what you are dealing with is the strongest weapon against narcissistic abuse. Again, thank you for engaging with me and for your encouragement and support. Wishing you all the best and know that I am in awe of your courage.
Excellent article. I also went back & read your 1st installment from last week. Another very good read.
Your mother sounds very similar to mine. And l coped in much the same way as you did. I left home & went out on my own at the age of 16 yrs of age. Luckily, my maternal grandmother was a loving, positive female role model during my early, formative years. I'll never forget she once told me "Look at your mother as everything you NEVER want to be in life"! And it's so strange....my mother was one of 2 daughters born to my grandparents & my aunt was the exact opposite of my mother. My aunt was loving, kind & genuine. Makes one wonder about nature vs nuture.
I then went on in life essentially free of any close relationships with any severe narcissists. Until l meet my 2nd husband. Four years of good times then 8 more years of pure hell until l escaped with our 2 beautiful children. Long, boring story.
The reason l am commenting is to say l am deeply appreciative of this series you are writing because so many are UNAWARE of what the narcissistic personality actually is! I am an educated woman & l never even heard that descriptive term until l was a year out of the marriage with my abuser (yes, it was physical
abuse as well as mental & emotional abuse). It was the beginning of healing for me to learn that this personality disorder was well known & actually existed. It was so healing to realize that it was him not me. That l had been severely gaslight by this man. I was so trusting & naive....after all, why would a man who vehemently claimed to love me & our children even want to lie to me, hurt & abuse me? It was unthinkable to me at the time....
At any rate, that was 17 years ago. Myself & my children have had much counseling & we are essentially healed from the experience (as much as one can be). We are certainly wiser & stronger human-beings for having survived what we did! And we remain very close.
In ending this lengthy comment l wanted to inquire of you....are you aware of this website:
It is written by a recovering (?) narcissist who was caught, l believe, in serious financial fraud, convicted & jailed for many years. If you are familiar with his extensive writing l wonder what your opinion is of what he says? I personally feel it is his way of garnering narcissistic supply for himself as he encourages people to write to him with their questions that he will honestly answer (so he says). He also published a book that l'm sure is making him tons of revenue.
Again, thank-you so much for all that you are doing. Wishing you all the best!
Dear Laurie,
thank you so much for your comment and for sharing your story. I am truly happy for you that you and you children got away and that you are healing. It is often difficult to explain what you encountered and for others to understand. You do not see a wounded soul. I believe that knowing what you are dealing with is the strongest weapon against narcissistic abuse. Again, thank you for engaging with me and for your encouragement and support. Wishing you all the best and know that I am in awe of your courage.
Tanja
Dear Tanya,
Excellent article. I also went back & read your 1st installment from last week. Another very good read.
Your mother sounds very similar to mine. And l coped in much the same way as you did. I left home & went out on my own at the age of 16 yrs of age. Luckily, my maternal grandmother was a loving, positive female role model during my early, formative years. I'll never forget she once told me "Look at your mother as everything you NEVER want to be in life"! And it's so strange....my mother was one of 2 daughters born to my grandparents & my aunt was the exact opposite of my mother. My aunt was loving, kind & genuine. Makes one wonder about nature vs nuture.
I then went on in life essentially free of any close relationships with any severe narcissists. Until l meet my 2nd husband. Four years of good times then 8 more years of pure hell until l escaped with our 2 beautiful children. Long, boring story.
The reason l am commenting is to say l am deeply appreciative of this series you are writing because so many are UNAWARE of what the narcissistic personality actually is! I am an educated woman & l never even heard that descriptive term until l was a year out of the marriage with my abuser (yes, it was physical
abuse as well as mental & emotional abuse). It was the beginning of healing for me to learn that this personality disorder was well known & actually existed. It was so healing to realize that it was him not me. That l had been severely gaslight by this man. I was so trusting & naive....after all, why would a man who vehemently claimed to love me & our children even want to lie to me, hurt & abuse me? It was unthinkable to me at the time....
At any rate, that was 17 years ago. Myself & my children have had much counseling & we are essentially healed from the experience (as much as one can be). We are certainly wiser & stronger human-beings for having survived what we did! And we remain very close.
In ending this lengthy comment l wanted to inquire of you....are you aware of this website:
samvak.tripod.com ?
It is written by a recovering (?) narcissist who was caught, l believe, in serious financial fraud, convicted & jailed for many years. If you are familiar with his extensive writing l wonder what your opinion is of what he says? I personally feel it is his way of garnering narcissistic supply for himself as he encourages people to write to him with their questions that he will honestly answer (so he says). He also published a book that l'm sure is making him tons of revenue.
Again, thank-you so much for all that you are doing. Wishing you all the best!