As always, Tanja - much to consider in your post, and it made me think about a book that I read some years ago by Cloud and Townsend called Boundaries. You may know the book, but I (and family members) found it very helpful. You have highlighted the danger of withdrawal and not actually dealing with issues. I remember a talk some 20 years ago from a clever psychologist who worked with different companies, and he had a great saying: "You can't intend your way into relationships. We all (mostly) have good intentions. You have to consider the impact you actions and where you have had a negative impact - take responsibility". Thanks for highlighting challenges for us all and your own journey.
Thank you so much, Reuben — your reflections always add such depth. I must admit, I haven’t read Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend, or even heard of it before, but now I’m truly intrigued. It sounds like something I should add to my list — especially if it’s had such a positive impact on you and your family.
That quote from the psychologist really stayed with me: “You can’t intend your way into relationships.” It’s such a wise reminder that good intentions, while important, aren’t enough on their own. It’s the impact that shapes trust and connection, and taking responsibility for that impact is where the real growth lies.
Thank you again for reading and for sharing so openly. These kinds of exchanges are part of what makes writing feel so worthwhile.
As always, Tanja - much to consider in your post, and it made me think about a book that I read some years ago by Cloud and Townsend called Boundaries. You may know the book, but I (and family members) found it very helpful. You have highlighted the danger of withdrawal and not actually dealing with issues. I remember a talk some 20 years ago from a clever psychologist who worked with different companies, and he had a great saying: "You can't intend your way into relationships. We all (mostly) have good intentions. You have to consider the impact you actions and where you have had a negative impact - take responsibility". Thanks for highlighting challenges for us all and your own journey.
Thank you so much, Reuben — your reflections always add such depth. I must admit, I haven’t read Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend, or even heard of it before, but now I’m truly intrigued. It sounds like something I should add to my list — especially if it’s had such a positive impact on you and your family.
That quote from the psychologist really stayed with me: “You can’t intend your way into relationships.” It’s such a wise reminder that good intentions, while important, aren’t enough on their own. It’s the impact that shapes trust and connection, and taking responsibility for that impact is where the real growth lies.
Thank you again for reading and for sharing so openly. These kinds of exchanges are part of what makes writing feel so worthwhile.