Welcome to the Age of Outrage
Congratulations, dear reader! If youâve made it through the first three sentences of this article without already clutching your pearls, reporting me to HR, or threatening me with a boycott on X, you deserve a medal. Or, at the very least, a participation trophy. Because letâs face it: in todayâs cultural climate, simply existing is enough to offend someone.
And not just someone. No, no. I mean, everyone!
I am just so unbelievably tired of this culture of political correctness, especially as that changes not by the hour or minute, but by the second. Who is supposed to keep up?
We live in an era where offence-taking has gone from an occasional pastimeâlike stamp collecting or cross-stitchingâto a full-blown professional sport. Gone are the days when people could shrug off a joke, roll their eyes at an opinion, or (heaven forbid) engage in actual conversation. Now, offence is currency. The more outraged you are, the higher your social stock. The more offended you appear, the louder your voice is heard. Itâs a new kind of economy, one not measured in dollars or euros, but in hashtags, retweets, and most of all, the moral high ground.
So, how do you survive in this brave new world of hypersensitivity? More importantly, how do you thrive? Because letâs be clearâyou donât just want to tiptoe around in fear of offending others. Thatâs utterly boring. No, you want to become an offence-artist. A Picasso of provocation. A Mozart of micro-aggressions. You want to wield offence like a conductor wields a baton, orchestrating the collective gasps of the perpetually outraged.
Lucky for you, Iâve cracked the codeâor have I? We will see. After countless hours of field research (also known as scrolling through X while nibbling chocolate), I believe I have identified the exact formula for offending absolutely everyone, no matter their background, ideology, or taste in music. And best of all, it really only takes five simple steps.
Now, before we dive into these steps, letâs clarify one important point: offence is no longer something you accidentally stumble into. No, offence is now an inevitability. Itâs like gravity or death or the fact that your phone battery will always die just when you need Google Maps the most. Offence is built into the system. And it doesnât even matter what you say. You could post a picture of a sandwich, and somewhere, somehow, someone will find a way to interpret that as a personal attack.
âWhy a ham sandwich? Do you hate vegans?â
âOh, so gluten is okay for you? Check your privilege.â
âWhite bread? Really? Thatâs colonialism on a plate.â
The problem is, in todayâs world, even silence can be offensive. Didnât speak up about the issue of the day? Cancelled. Spoke up, but not loud enough? Cancelled. Spoke up too loudly? Definitely cancelled. Basically, unless you are broadcasting your outrage at the exact pitch, frequency, and moral purity of the current hive mind, youâre toast. And even then, someone will probably be upset that you chose toast.
So whatâs the solution? You could try to play it safe. Keep your head down, stay quiet, wear beige, and never express a single original thought ever again. But whereâs the fun in that? Youâll still end up offending someone eventually, and then youâll have wasted all that energy trying to avoid it.
Or, you could simply embrace the chaos. You could stop worrying about whether you will offend someone and instead focus on how much you can offend them. Think of it as leaning into the skid. If the world insists on being a perpetual outrage factory, why not become the star performer on the assembly line?
Thatâs where this âguideâ comes in. What follows are five tried-and-true steps to offending everyoneâyes, everyoneâin todayâs hypersensitive culture. Follow these steps carefully, and youâll be guaranteed to spark at least a dozen angry subtweets, two think pieces about your âdangerous rhetoric,â and maybe even a petition to have you de-platformed. And honestly, isnât that the dream?
So buckle up, my brave provocateur. Take a deep breath (but not too deep, weâll get to that in a minute). Sharpen your wit, brace yourself for the incoming outrage tsunami, and letâs begin our journey into the art of offending everyone in five easy steps. And I promise, it has never been easier.
Step 1: Breathe Wrong
Ah yes, the most basic human function: breathing. A simple, unconscious act that keeps you alive. Or, in 2025, the most controversial political statement you can make.
See, in normal timesâsay, a thousand years ago, and perhaps you even remember bits of theseâbreathing was considered⌠how shall I put it⌠normal. Nobody accused you of being âproblematicâ because you inhaled slightly more air than your neighbour. But in the Age of Outrage, the stakes are so much higher. Now, even breathing wrong is enough to get you canceled.
Letâs try to break this down.
Breathing Too Loudly
If you breathe loudly in public, congratulationsâyou are now officially âaggressive.â Your nostrils have weaponised themselves against the community. Someone will tweet about how your audible inhalation was a micro-aggression that disrupted their safe space.
Never mind that you just got over a cold and your sinuses havenât quite recovered. Nope. Context doesnât matter. Your loud breathing is a hostile act, and society must hold you accountable. Prepare to issue a public apology in Notes app format: âIâm deeply sorry for my respiratory violence. I will be undergoing oxygen sensitivity training.â
Breathing Too Quietly
On the flip side, if you breathe too quietly, youâre passive-aggressive. Why arenât you breathing louder? Do you have something to hide? Are you plotting something sinister? âThe way he sat there, barely breathing, was so intimidating. Honestly, I felt unsafe.â
See how that works? You cannot win.
Breathing at All
But hereâs the real kicker: if you breathe at all, youâre guilty of carbon privilege. Thatâs right, your selfish act of oxygen consumption produces carbon dioxide, which contributes to climate change, which means you personally just killed three polar bears, a penguin, and half a coral reef.
Donât argueâitâs science. Somewhere on TikTok, an influencer will make a video blaming your breathing for melting glaciers while she lectures you in front of her 12th ring light. It will go viral. You will trend on X. By the next morning, Greenpeace will be at your door with a petition demanding that you exhale less.
And before you ask: no, holding your breath isnât an option either. Because if you do that, youâll be accused of âperformative silence.â Someone will write a think piece titled âThe Oppressive Symbolism of Breath-Holding in Late Capitalism.â
Solutions? Oh, There Are None. I mean it.
At this point, you might be wondering: how can I breathe in a way that wonât offend anyone? Short answer: you canât. But long answers are just more fun, so letâs consider your options.
Breathing through a mask: Too cautious. Someone will say youâre virtue signalling.
Breathing without a mask: Too reckless. Someone else will say youâre literally murdering grandmothers.
Breathing filtered air through a machine: Classist. Not everyone can afford an oxygen tank, you elitist pig.
Not breathing at all: Problem solved! Except⌠now youâre dead. Which, of course, will offend someone for being inconsiderate enough to traumatise them with your corpse.
Real-Life Examples (Because Reality Is Stranger Than Satire)
Think back just a couple of years. Remember when people argued endlessly about mask mandates? People were genuinely furiousâfurious!âat how others were inhaling and exhaling. Breathing became a culture war battlefield. Do you inhale in solidarity with the government or exhale in defiance of it? Either way, someoneâs angry.
And if you think thatâs absurd, buckle up. Because if society can politicise breathing, it can politicise anything. (Spoiler: weâll get there in the next steps.)
The Sarcastic Survival Tip
So, whatâs the official survival guide recommendation here? Simple: stop being human. Humans breathe. Breathing offends. Therefore, if you want to stop offending people, you must evolve past humanity. Perhaps invest in becoming a potted plant. Plants only exhale oxygen, which might finally make you socially acceptable.
But be careful, donât choose the wrong plant. If you become a cactus, youâll be accused of being prickly and unwelcoming. If you become a rose, someone will say youâre a symbol of outdated romance. Honestly, your safest bet is probably a fern. Nobody ever got offended by a fern. Yet, or at least I think soâŚ
Conclusion to Step 1
Breathing wrong is the fastest and easiest way to offend people in todayâs hypersensitive world. The act of simply existingâtaking in air and releasing itâis now a political act. And the beauty of it? You donât even have to try. The outrage machine will find a way to make your biology problematic.
So donât sweat it (although sweating is offensive too). For now, breathe however you like. Someone will be furious either way. You may as well enjoy it and stay alive a little longer.
Step 2: Use WordsâAny Words
If Step 1 taught us anything, itâs that merely existing is offensive. But if you really want to level up your outrage-inducing skills, you have to do something even more reckless, more audacious, more unforgivable than breathing.
You have to use words.
Thatâs right. Open your mouth (or worse, your keyboard), and suddenly you have entered a minefield where every syllable is a potential career-ending detonation. It doesnât matter what you say, how you say it, or even if you meant the exact opposite of how itâs taken. Someone, somewhere, will find a way to be mortally offended.
The Dangerous World of âProblematic Vocabularyâ
We used to have a category called âbad words.â You knowâthe ones your mom washed your mouth out with soap for saying. But in 2025, the concept has expanded - infinetely. Now any word can be a bad word, depending on who hears it and how they feel that day.
Say âguysâ when greeting a mixed group? Sexist.
Say âladies and gentlemenâ? Too binary.
Say âfolksâ? Cultural appropriation (apparently, and I truly have no idea which culture is meant here).
Say nothing? Silence is violence.
The safe zone has shrunk so dramatically that soon the only acceptable form of greeting will be to raise your eyebrows vaguely while humming something in a neutral key. Until, of course, humming is accused of being offensive to the musically challenged.
Apologies Wonât Save You
Now, you might be thinking: âBut if I accidentally offend someone with my words, Iâll just apologise.â Oh, you are so naive. Apologies donât fix things anymore. They feed the outrage beast. Because once youâve apologised, youâve admitted guilt. And once youâve admitted guilt, it doesnât matter what your intent wasâyou are now branded forever as That Person.
Letâs say you make a joke at work, and someone doesnât like it. You apologise, sincerely, with humility. What happens next? Does the offended party smile and say, âThank you, I acceptâ? Of course not. They tweet about it: âSo-and-so admitted to using harmful language in the workplace. HR has been notified.â By tomorrow, youâre on the evening news. By next week, youâre in a monastery in the Alps, milking goats and reflecting on your sins.
Dictionary Words Are Not Safe Either
Remember Boris Palmer, the German politician who got raked over the coals for using dictionary-listed words? Thatâs the world we live in now. Entire entries in the dictionary are radioactive. And dictionaries themselves are suspect, because who wrote them? Old white men. Which means every word is tainted. Including the word âword.â
Satire, Sarcasm, and the End of Humour
Oh, and donât even think about being funny. Humour is dead. Irony? Cancelled. Satire? Offensive. Sarcasm? âProblematic, to say the least.â In fact, even this article is utterly offensive - just thought you should know. (If you havenât reported me yet, donât worryâyouâll find something in Step 3.)
Try making a joke in mixed company. No matter what you say, someone will take it literally, someone else will take it personally, and a third person will immediately draft a Medium essay explaining why your humour perpetuates systemic oppression. You thought you were being clever. Congratulationsâyouâve just committed a hate crime in punchline form.
The Sarcastic Survival Tip
So, whatâs the survival strategy here? Easy: stop using words altogether. Communicate exclusively through interpretive dance. Mime is probably safest (though, warning: miming a âwallâ could be interpreted as political commentary, and pretending to be âstuck in a boxâ might offend people with claustrophobia).
If you absolutely must use words, stick to phrases like:
âI agree with the current consensus.â
âYour lived experience is valid.â
âEverything you said is correct, and I have no thoughts of my own.â
Say those three lines on repeat, and youâll survive most dinner parties without incident. Until someone accuses you of being robotic and emotionally unavailable.
Conclusion to Step 2
Using words in 2025 is like juggling chainsaws while blindfolded: it doesnât matter how skilled you are, eventually youâre going to lose a limb. The only way to avoid offending someone with your vocabulary is to stop speaking, stop writing, and stop existing altogether.
But since Step 1 already showed us that existing is offensive, well⌠youâre doomed no matter what.
So go aheadâspeak freely. Use words. Any words. Because no matter what you choose, someone will find a way to be outraged, and you may as well enjoy the fireworks.
Step 3: Have an Opinion
If Step 1 (breathing) and Step 2 (using words) already felt risky, let me warn you: Step 3 is where we go full kamikaze. Because if thereâs one thing more offensive than existing or speaking, itâs thinking for yourself.
Thatâs right. Having an opinion in 2025 is the ultimate social crime. Doesnât matter if itâs a small opinion, a polite opinion, or even an opinion nobody asked for. The minute you have one, youâre basically poking a hornetâs nest armed with a selfie stick.
The Death of âAgree to Disagreeâ
Remember the good old days when people could just⌠disagree? When someone said, âI like pineapple on pizza,â and you said, âWell, I donât,â and then you both moved on with your lives? Yeah, those days are gone.
Now, if you dare express an opinion that someone doesnât share, youâre not just differentâyouâre dangerous. If you say you donât like pineapple on pizza, youâve suddenly declared war on tropical fruit culture, marginalised chefs, and the lived experience of pineapples everywhere. Expect a Change.org petition calling for your removal from polite society.
The Hierarchy of Acceptable Opinions
Hereâs how it works: Youâre technically allowed to have opinions, but only if they fit within the ever-shrinking box of âacceptable discourse.â Anything outside that boxâanythingâmakes you a villain.
Believe taxes are too high? You hate teachers and children.
Believe taxes are fine? Youâre a communist.
Believe taxes donât matter because money is imaginary? Youâre spreading conspiracy theories.
No matter what you think, thereâs a committee somewhere ready to categorise you as evil.
The Myth of âSafe Opinionsâ
âBut wait,â you say. âIâll stick to safe opinions, like âpuppies are cute.â Surely nobody can be offended by that.â
Wrong again. Someone will accuse you of privileging dogs over cats. Another will argue youâre ignoring the plight of endangered amphibians. A third will write an op-ed titled âThe Fascist Subtext of Puppy Enthusiasm.â By the time youâve finished defending yourself, youâll wish youâd stayed silent.
The Social Media Guillotine
Of course, the real danger isnât having an opinion in privateâitâs having one in public. Enter social media, the modern-day guillotine. Platforms like Twitter (sorry, âXâ) are basically Hunger Games arenas where people fight to the death with hot takes.
Post a thoughtâany thoughtâand the mob descends. Theyâll screenshot it, strip it of context, and circulate it with captions like âTHIS is who youâre supporting.â Your opinion is no longer yours; itâs a weapon others can use against you.
The scariest part? You donât even have to have an unpopular opinion. Sometimes, agreeing with yesterdayâs consensus is enough to get you canceled today, because the goalposts keep moving. What was progressive in 2018 is regressive in 2025. Didnât keep up? Too bad. Off with your head. Just waiting for the day this post bites meâŚ
Opinion vs. Thoughtcrime
It used to be that Orwellâs âthoughtcrimeâ was satire. Not anymore. Today, even hinting at independent thinking is enough to raise suspicion. You donât have to say your opinion out loud. Just the wrong facial expression in a meeting, or an insufficiently enthusiastic clap at a speech, and suddenly youâre on a watchlist.
Thereâs even a new social phenomenon: âopinion pre-crime.â Thatâs when someone decides youâre about to have a problematic opinion, so they cancel you preemptively. Itâs like Minority Report, but dumber.
The Sarcastic Survival Tip
So, what do you do? Simple: outsource your opinions. Donât form your own. Just adopt whatever opinion is trending that day. Refresh your feed every morning and adjust accordingly:
Monday: âCoffee is self-care.â
Tuesday: âCoffee is colonialist exploitation.â
Wednesday: âCoffee is a metaphor for systemic oppression.â
Never question, never doubt, never deviate. Just echo. Youâll survive, even if you sound like a parrot with Wi-Fi.
Alternatively, if you insist on having your own opinion, hereâs the real survival strategy: have it silently in your head, smile politely, and never let it escape your lips. Which, of course, makes you a cowardâbut hey, at least you wonât get dragged on TikTok by a 17-year-old with a ring light.
Conclusion to Step 3
Having an opinion today is basically juggling lit matches in a fireworks factory. It doesnât matter if youâre left, right, center, or completely apolitical. The mere act of thinking for yourself makes you dangerous. And that, my friend, is the ultimate irony: a culture that claims to celebrate âdiversityâ cannot tolerate the most basic form of itâdiversity of thought.
So, the next time you feel a hot take bubbling up inside you, remember: silence is survival. Unless, of course, your silence is violence. In which case, youâre doomed either way.
Step 4: Exist on the Internet
If Steps 1â3 (breathing, speaking, having opinions) werenât already hazardous enough, hereâs where the real gladiator match begins: logging on.
Because in 2025, existing on the internet isnât just riskyâitâs basically volunteering for a public execution where the mob brings the torches, the pitchforks, and a lifetime supply of hashtags.
The Internet Never Forgets
There was a time when the internet felt like a playground. You could share silly cat videos, argue about movies, and maybe even reconnect with an old high school friend. Today? Itâs more like living inside a courtroom where everyone is both judge and executioner, and your entire browsing history is Exhibit A.
Remember that dumb tweet you wrote in 2011 when you were 16 and thought you were funny? Congratulationsâitâs resurfacing. Someone has dug it up, stripped it of context, and is now presenting it as proof that you are historyâs greatest monster.
And as mentioned, apologies donât work. Clarifications donât work. Screenshots are eternal. The internet doesnât forgive, and it certainly doesnât forget.
Cancel Culture: The Hunger Games of Morality
Existing online means youâre automatically entered into the worldâs biggest reality show: Cancel Culture: Deathmatch Edition. At any moment, you can be âchosenâ for cancellation. And the best part? You donât even need to do anything wrong.
Maybe you liked the wrong post. Or you followed the wrong account. Or you were photographed standing near someone who, according to X detectives, once said something âproblematic.â Doesnât matterâguilt by association is the name of the game.
Once the mob decides youâre guilty, thereâs no trial. No defence. Just instant execution by trending hashtag.
Step 1: Someone posts your âcrime.â
Step 2: The mob retweets with increasingly dramatic outrage.
Step 3: Influencers pile on to prove their moral purity.
Step 4: Brands release statements severing ties with you.
Step 5: Youâre erased.
Itâs like the Salem witch trials, except instead of dunking you in a pond, they dunk you in a 72-hour viral outrage cycle.
Everything Is Political
The scariest part of existing online today is that nothing is neutral anymore. Used to be you could post about your breakfast without controversy. Now?
Post avocado toast â accused of flaunting privilege.
Post bacon â accused of speciesism and climate denial.
Post black coffee â accused of supporting âtoxic grind culture.â
No matter what you share, someone will find a way to politicise it. Even selfies. (Too filtered = dishonest. Not filtered enough = âtrauma dumping.â)
The Algorithmic Prison
Of course, the platforms themselves arenât innocent. Algorithms reward outrage, meaning the most extreme, inflammatory takes rise to the top. Nuance? Dead. Thoughtfulness? Buried. Measured debate? LOL.
This creates a vicious cycle: you post something ordinary, someone twists it into something scandalous, the algorithm boosts it because drama = engagement, and suddenly youâre viral for all the wrong reasons.
Your punishment? Permanent placement on Googleâs digital walk of shame. Search your name, and the first 10 results will forever be angry blogs calling you a monster.
The Sarcastic Survival Tip
So, how do you survive online in 2025? The obvious solution is: donât go online at all. Delete your accounts, throw your phone into a river, and move to a cabin in the woods. Problem solved.
But letâs be realâyou wonât. The dopamine hit of notifications is too strong. So here are some backup strategies:
Post Only Bland Content: Stick to sunsets, latte art, and generic inspirational quotes. (âLive, Laugh, Loveâ is safe⌠for now.)
Like Nothing: Donât âlikeâ posts. Donât retweet. Donât even click. Liking is the new signing-a-contract-in-blood.
Outrage Camouflage: If the mob comes for you, quickly join another mob. Nothing hides your sins like loudly condemning someone else.
Pre-emptive Cancellation: Cancel yourself before others do. Post: âIâm deeply sorry for my existence. I will now retreat into silence.â Youâll get sympathy points for humility.
Conclusion to Step 4
Existing on the internet today is like walking across a minefield blindfolded, while the crowd cheers for explosions. Every click, every like, every word is a potential trigger.
And hereâs the ultimate paradox: in a world that preaches freedom of expression, the internet has become the least free place of all. Youâre surveilled, judged, and punished in real time by strangers whose outrage is a currencyâand your downfall is their payday.
So, should you risk existing online? Honestly, you donât have a choice. Society demands it. Employers check your profiles, friends plan events there, and even protests are organised through hashtags. The only way to truly avoid the dangers of internet existence is to disappear completely.
But then againâdisappearing has its own offence: it means youâre ânot using your platform responsibly.â
So congratulations, youâre doomed either way.
Step 5: Try to Be Normal
If you thought breathing, speaking, and existing online were already high-risk activities, wait until you try this next impossible feat: being normal.
What does ânormalâ even mean anymore? Spoiler: nothing. Because in 2025, normality is the greatest sin of all.
The Problem With Ordinary
Once upon a time, ânormalâ meant blending in. It meant you werenât weird, you werenât extreme, and you werenât rocking the boat. You could just go about your dayâeat, work, pay taxes, walk your dogâwithout being accused of crimes against humanity.
Today? Normal is offensive. Ordinary is suspicious. Average is dangerous.
Drink water? Youâre excluding those who hydrate with kombucha.
Wear jeans? Youâre perpetuating denim-based oppression.
Say âgood morningâ? Not everyoneâs morning is good, you privileged monster.
Everything you doâeven the most mundaneâis now ripe for moral outrage.
The Daily Minefield
Letâs walk through a day in the life of someone just trying to be ânormal.â
Breakfast: You have eggs. Congratulations, youâve just supported the industrial chicken complex, normalised animal slavery, and offended vegans worldwide. Shouldâve had chia pudding.
Commute: You drive to work. Oops. Climate criminal. Even if you cycle, someone will accuse you of âbike privilege.â (Not everyone can afford a âŹ3.000 carbon-fiber e-bike, you know.)
Work Greeting: You say, âHey guys.â Uh oh. Gendered language! Youâve erased entire identities in two syllables.
Lunch: You eat a sandwich. White bread. With ham. Honestly, at this point, you might as well declare yourself a fascist.
Evening: You post a harmless picture of your cat. Someone accuses you of species favouritism and ignoring the plight of parakeets.
By bedtime, youâre exhaustedânot from your day, but from dodging the moral landmines of simply existing like a halfway average human being.
The Fetish for Exceptionalism
Hereâs the real kicker: youâre not even allowed to be content with being normal anymore. Everyone has to be special, exceptional, or radically unique.
Donât just jog, become a âmovement evangelist.â
Donât just cook, become a âfood activist.â
Donât just read a book, make it your âentire identity.â
Mediocrity used to be boring. Now itâs offensive. Because if youâre not aggressively curating a brand-new micro-identity every week, youâre seen as lazy, apathetic, or secretly dangerous.
When Normal = Privileged
Another reason ânormalâ is out of fashion? Itâs been rebranded as âprivilege.â
You think itâs normal to go grocery shopping without fear? Privilege.
You think itâs normal to walk down the street at night? Privilege.
You think itâs normal to say what you think without being fired? Definitely privilege.
Now, instead of being a neutral state, normality is framed as oppression. And your job, apparently, is to apologise for it. Loudly. Preferably in a 12-part Instagram story with a crying selfie.
The Sarcastic Survival Tip
So how do you survive when even being boring makes you a threat?
Hereâs one option: lean into abnormality. Become so bizarre, so unpredictable, that nobody can figure out how to be offended. Show up to work wearing a chicken suit, speak only in pirate slang, and eat soup with a fork. Sure, people will be confusedâbut at least they wonât be able to put you neatly into a villain box. Although you might risk being committed.
The other option: weaponise normality. Be aggressively average on purpose. Order plain cheese pizza at fancy restaurants. Tell everyone your favourite color is beige. Start a podcast called âMediocre Thoughts.â Maybeâjust maybeâyouâll bore the mob into leaving you alone.
Conclusion to Step 5
Trying to be normal in 2025 is like trying to walk a tightrope in roller skates. Every âharmlessâ action is politicised, pathologised, or problematised.
And hereâs the great irony: in a world screaming about diversity, uniqueness, and inclusion, the one thing thatâs truly forbidden is being ordinary. The simple act of living a basic, unremarkable life has somehow become radical.
So go ahead, try to be normal. Just donât be surprised when someone accuses you of âweaponising conformityâ or âgaslighting the oppressed with your mediocrity.â
Because in todayâs culture, even beige is a political statement.
Congratulations, Youâve Offended Everyone
And there you have it. Five simple, foolproof steps to alienate every single person youâve ever met.
Breathe â offensive.
Speak â dangerous.
Have Opinions â catastrophic.
Exist Online â suicidal.
Try to Be Normal â unforgivable.
If youâre keeping score, that means the mere act of existing in 2025 is basically a hate crime. Which makes all of us guilty, all of the time.
The silver lining? At least youâre not alone. Everyone is offending everyone else, constantly, without trying. And maybeâjust maybeâthatâs the most freeing thought of all. Because if everything is offensive, then maybe nothing really is.
So go ahead. Breathe. Speak. Think. Post. Be ordinary. Youâll offend someone no matter what you do, so you might as well do it with style.
đśMy Song for you
As we are literally on the Highway to Hell, I thought this to be the perfect song- AC DC with Highway To Hell.
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
đMy Poem for you
Is by Philip Larkin (1922â1985)
This Be The Verse
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one anotherâs throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And donât have any kids yourself.
đImpression
Now you know my dirty secret⌠Mr. Spock writes my newsletter⌠đđź
Admittedly, I had great fun writing this and please tell me if I have managed to offend you? And if you werenât offended, donât worry â Iâll try harder next time.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a â¤ď¸ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.
Wishing you a fabulous weekend wherever you are (let me know how offensive that is)
Yours
Tanja đ¤
PS. You can now also find my podcast on Spotify
Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch





You've neatly summarised the challenges of today, Tanja, and who thought that the internet and social media would have led to this? Probably the solution is to be more like President Trump and outrage everyone but this may not be good for personal survival! Great insights, and I have realised that it is worse than I ever imagined!
Hehehe, failed to offend, I'm afraid. Keep trying.