COMFORT ZONES 🛌
OFTEN VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND YET WE STAY
To make one thing very clear, I do not like the expression “Comfort Zone” and I will tell you why and what I would rather name it.
In my work with people, I stumble over the term “Comfort Zone” a lot. When they speak about their life and explain why they come to me, what they want to change about their life, and why, I always try to find out their real reason and goal for coming to me, which often turns out to be quite different from what they may have initially thought.
When I dig a little deeper that is when I often hear that they struggle to get out of their Comfort Zone/s. This can mean many different things to different people. What I always ask, and some find this a bit uncomfortable, is if they are happy where they are or even just comfortable. The reply has so far always been the same - otherwise, they would most likely not seek my help - and it is always a hard NO! No one turns to a coach or a psychologist if everything is ok.
But I wanted to tell you why I do not like the term, Comfort Zone. It’s actually very simple. They are - at least a lot of times - NOT COMFORTABLE whatsoever! The term is used very generously when we want to avoid something that is uncomfortable, or hard, or it is something that we fear. Comfort Zones are a places for most that are familiar and at least appear safe. They give us the possibility to hide in plain sight.
Imagine you are standing in a small room with a very bright light, a light that is unpleasant and even painful for your eyes even if you close them. There is a door in the room though, this door is not locked and you could simply walk out of the room and get away from the painfully bright light. But when you open the door, there is darkness and you have no idea where this door will lead to. Some people will step through that door into the unknown but most will stay in the room learning how to deal with the bright light and sometimes alleviating the pain by covering their eyes with their hands. They know it is not good for them, they know it continues to be painful and yet they stay, simply because they know how to deal with the situation.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” — Neale Donald Walsch
That is why, in my very own personal opinion, Comfort Zones should be called Habit Zones. To me, that is just what they usually are but of course, Comfort Zone sounds so much nicer and gives you less reason to change something - no matter how uncomfortable you are.
One great example of this, in our increasingly woke world, is the new and widely accepted perception of body positivity.
“We live in a rainbow of chaos.” — Paul Cezanne
People are trying to tell us that morbid obesity is beautiful and healthy and something to even strive for. Personally, I don’t care if someone is fat or obese, but I do care when people who obviously don’t care about their body, their health, or even their lives tell us how great it is to be morbidly obese and that we should accommodate their needs in every aspect. They need two seats in an airplane but are shocked when they are asked to pay for the second seat. They are offended when someone feels uncomfortable when half of them spills over into that person's seat. Some of these people become “influencers” - another word I would love to change - and celebrate their extreme body weight in public. What they are actually doing is slow suicide. They are in their Comfort or rather Habit Zone of overeating constantly and are looking for affirmation of their disorder from a wider public so they can stay in this zone that will most likely put them in an early grave. Personally, I don’t care what people do with their bodies as long as they are of age, but I do care if they influence others, especially children, pretending that it is a good thing or even something to be proud of. They are too lazy and don’t have the discipline to make the changes that would need to be done for a healthier life and longer life.
“Being mentally tough is having to battle those demons and push yourself out of your comfort zone and force yourself to be the person that your mind is telling you you aren't.” — Michael Chiesa
Another great area where these Habit Zones, in which the majority of the world population snuggled up was the COVID disaster and all that followed. It is so “comfortable” and easy to follow the mainstream media narrative, doing what you are told, and even disparaging and possibly denouncing others that deliberately stepped out of these zones, knowing it could be hard and that it could have negative consequences for them - and for many it did.
Most of the time, being stuck in “Comfort Zones” is an avoidance of reality. You can very clearly see that with the rainbow cult that believes that we should not only coddle them but also affirm their delusions and every whim so that they can feel comfortable and safe in their Habit Zones.
Why do people decide to stay in their Habit Zones, even if they know that they are not doing them any good?
a. Fear - This is probably the biggest motivator for avoiding change. The fear of facing the consequences but also the fear of possible failure. Of course, there is also the fear of the unknown.
b. Shame - This I believe is very much underestimated, especially when you look at the past years of Covidmania. Having to admit you were wrong on such a huge scale is too much for many to bear.
c. Avoiding pain - Now, this is something we all like to do. The issue is that if you do not experience pain you will not learn and evolve.
d. Taking responsibility - Having an excuse for everything is easier than addressing and facing the issues you have.
e. Justify procrastination - Again this is about making excuses - which we all do at times and that is ok - and being unwilling to get things done because it could be hard.
This is a bit simplified but I do like things simple.
At the end of the day, Comfort or Habit Zones - doesn’t really matter what you want to call them - are something we are familiar with, something we know how to or have learned to deal with, no matter how toxic or destructive it may be. We tend to use and abuse the term Comfort Zone to justify our inability to change and evolve.
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” — Brian Tracy
🎶My Song of the Week
I thought this was a very suitable song for this week and I do adore the unforgettable Freddy Mercury!
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
📚My Poem of the Week
It’s time for William Shakespeare (1564–1616)
Sonnet 123: No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change
No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change: Thy pyramids built up with newer might To me are nothing novel, nothing strange; They are but dressings of a former sight. Our dates are brief, and therefore we admire What thou dost foist upon us that is old, And rather make them born to our desire Than think that we before have heard them told. Thy registers and thee I both defy, Not wondering at the present nor the past; For thy records and what we see doth lie, Made more or less by that continual haste. This I do vow, and this shall ever be: I will be true, despite thy scythe and thee.
👀Impressions
Today it‘s another little video from a lovely evening swim in Lake Starnberg
Do you have “Comfort or Habit Zones” you tend to snuggle up in? How do you deal with these?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments or send me a message. I very much enjoy hearing from you.
Wishing you a fabulous weekend.
Yours
Tanja 🤗
Ha! Great choice of track, I enjoyed that, even from my uncomfortable position.
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