WHAT I FEAR I CREATE 😱

WHEN FEAR WRITES THE STORY - HOW TO TAKE BACK THE PEN

Apr 25, 2025

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” — H. P. Lovecraft

Have you ever feared something so much that it actually ended up happening? You dread a conversation, overthink every possible outcome, and when the time comes, your anxiety takes the wheel and drives the moment straight into awkward-town. Been there, done that, probably bought the t-shirt and all the other available merchandise.

Here’s the thing: when fear drives the plot, it doesn’t just influence our thoughts—it shapes our actions, reactions, and ultimately our outcomes. It sneaks into our decisions, dims our confidence, and before we know it, we live in a story we didn’t mean to write.

But what if you could take the pen back? What if you could stop fear from being your ghostwriter and start telling a story that feels a lot more like you?

Let’s talk about how fear writes our stories—and how we can possibly change the script.

Of Course, there is Psychology Behind Fear-Based Creation

Fear as a storyteller

Our minds are wired for survival, not happiness. We anticipate threats, scan for danger, and fill in the blanks with worst-case scenarios—not because we’re pessimistic, but because we’re trying to be prepared.

What makes it worse? At least 80% of our lives happen in our heads. And the majority of that mental space is occupied by thoughts we haven’t fact-checked. If we can bring just a little of that swirling thought-storm into reality—with clarity and calm—it’s already a huge win.

Confirmation bias & the self-fulfilling prophecy

Once fear has planted a story, we start to look for proof it’s true. It’s like googling your own worst-case scenario and only clicking the most terrifying links.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control the outcome to avoid fear, the more we often sabotage ourselves. It’s like squeezing a tube of toothpaste too hard—you lose the grip and the paste.

Fear as a Tool of Control: When the Story Is Written For You

Let’s be real—fear doesn’t just live rent-free in our personal lives. It’s also a best-selling strategy for controlling the masses. History has shown us (repeatedly) that fear is a powerful tool, especially in the hands of those who benefit from our obedience, division, and silence.

Case in point? The COVID plandemic. Regardless of where you stand politically, it’s become increasingly clear that fear was used as a sledgehammer, not a scalpel. Were there real dangers? Perhaps, yet no more than during any other flu season. But along the way, nuanced dialogue was replaced with propaganda, uncertainty with rigid rules, and human connection with suspicion and shame. Many of us weren’t just afraid of a virus—we were fearful of each other.

And while we’re on a roll, let’s not forget how politics and mainstream media happily fan the flames. Left, right, green, purple—it doesn’t matter. Division sells — apparently even better than sex. Outrage gets clicks. And fear? Fear keeps you tuned in, locked down, and willing to surrender more than just your freedom of movement; it takes your peace of mind and sense of agency, too.

The absurd part? It’s all delivered with a straight face by people who seem weirdly confident, even as their logic defies gravity. (Looking at you, three-mask joggers and outdoor solo walkers wearing hazmat gear.)

If it sounds like dystopian fiction, it’s because it kind of is. The only difference? You’re not just reading the story—you’re smack in the middle of it.

So, maybe it’s time to ask: Who’s really holding the pen? And are they writing a story worth believing?

You fear rejection → You get defensive → People feel pushed away → You feel rejected.
You fear failing → You procrastinate → You underperform → Voilà, failure.

Fear writes circular stories—ones that keep looping until we stop them.

You’re afraid to trip in front of your crush, and the universe delivers—with bonus sound effects.
You dread your performance review, so you arrive sweating, stammering, and quoting Beyoncé lyrics by accident.

Recognising When Fear Has the Pen

Signs of fear might be narrating your life:

Constant overthinking
Saying “yes” when you mean “no” (or vice versa)
Playing it safe to the point of invisibility
Avoiding things that matter most to you

You might also feel emotionally exhausted, physically tense, or creatively blocked. Sound familiar?

Helpful questions to ask:

“Is this action based on fear or purpose?”
“Am I trying to create or just avoid?”
“Would I still do this if I wasn’t afraid?”

How to Take the Pen Back

Step 1: Give fear a name

Not in a dramatic way. Just nod to it like an old acquaintance: “Oh hey, Fear. You again.”

Step 2: Spot the narrative

What’s the story fear is trying to sell you? That you’re not enough? That failure is fatal? That people will laugh? That a virus is out to get you if you go out after curfew?

Step 3: Rewrite the plot

Choose a new belief. One that feels brave, but just believable enough.

Step 4: Take one small courageous action

You don’t have to leap. A tiptoe is enough. Post the thing. Say the truth. Sign up. Speak up.

Step 5: Use the Enneagram as a compass

Each Enneagram type has its own flavour of fear. Type 1s fear being wrong. Type 4s fear being insignificant. Type 6s fear uncertainty. Knowing your type helps you catch the stories fear tells you—and rewrite them with your own voice.

And remember: You might not get rid of fear entirely. But you can demote it from lead writer to unpaid intern.

Creating Something Better: Choosing Love, Curiosity, and Courage

Let love lead

When love is the driving force, we build, we connect, we expand. Love-based decisions lead to growth.

Curiosity over control

Instead of “What if it goes wrong?” ask “What if it goes right?”

Courage isn’t fearlessness

It’s just fear in good shoes with a solid playlist. Courage is showing up anyway.

Your story matters

And you get to write the next chapter.

Reflect and Reclaim

Try this:

“What part of my story has fear been writing?”
“What’s a new, truer chapter I want to create?”

And if you need someone to help you turn the page, that’s what coaching and good friends are for. Whether it’s untangling old stories or writing bold new ones—support makes the process real and fun.

Fear may have written a few messy pages. But the pen is still in your hand. And the best chapters are yet to come.

“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.” — André Gide

🎶My Song for you

Angèle feat. Roméo Elvis - Tout Oublier, which is a perfect match to today’s post…

For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!

📚My Poem for you

Is by the people’s poet Edgar Albert Guest (1881—1959)

Fear

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

The great god Fear grinned back at me:
“I am the foe men never see,
The hurt they never feel,” said he.

“I am the wrong they never bear,
The poison they themselves prepare.
I am the shadow on the stair.

“I have no voice and yet I speak;
No strength and yet I blanch the cheek
And leave the strongest mortals weak.

“I am the blackguard man befriends,
Heeds most, feeds, cherishes, attends
And ‘gainst all council wise defends.

“I fire no gun, I make no cry,
No lodging place in fact have I,
Yet I’m the countless deaths men die.

“Mine is a humor ghastly grim,
The lamp of reason I can dim,
Though I am nothing but a whim.

“I am man’s cruelest, bitterest foe,
Yet past his door I could not go,
Had he the wit to tell me; ‘No’.”

👀Impression

I just adore the colours that come with springtime… pretty in pink!

Have you let your life be created by fear? How did you overcome it?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a ❤️ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.

Wishing you a colourful weekend wherever you are.

Yours

Tanja 🤗

PS. You can now also find my podcast on Spotify

Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch

Change & Evolve Letter