TRIGGERS 🔫

THE CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS ONES

What does it even mean to be triggered? Most of the time it results in having some kind of huge emotional reaction that is usually disproportionate to what is really happening. When we are triggered we are usually experiencing past pain in the present moment.

“I'm an actor who believes we all have triggers to any stage of emotion. It's not always easy to find but it's still there.” — Hugh Jackman

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What triggers us and our behaviors? Why do certain memories, thoughts, or situations trigger us into doing things that hurt and even sabotage us? How do triggers make us follow the same behaviors over and over again? The trigger is generally fuelled by experiences that are reminiscent of painful feelings of the past. Just imagine an old wound that just won’t heal and opens up again and again if it is not properly taken care of.

“Fear comes from your past observations. That fear settles inside you. It becomes your psyche. Something triggers it and it fuels that subconscious. There is no logic to it.” — Gulzar

My need or want to understand is probably one of my greatest conscious triggers. Perhaps this is rooted in my childhood. I absolutely despised it when I asked a question and got the answer that I was either too young, or that I could not understand it anyway, or I was just shut down. It always felt and still feels like an insult to my intelligence. I never realised that it was possibly because the big people did not have the answers themselves, didn’t know how to word them, or simply could not be bothered to find an age-appropriate way to explain things to me. I truly believe if a child is capable of posing a question it should get an answer. This trigger of mine has caused me to refuse to believe the narrative of the past years as no one has been able to explain the nonsense that has been going on - especially for those significant past years. I believe that I am strong enough to change my mind when proven wrong - provided that the arguments are good, understandable, logical, and make sense to me. When things don’t add up it is a bit like a riddle that you are trying to solve and simply can’t, and itch you cannot scratch, and it can drive you mad.

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An unconscious trigger can be a scent, a song, or a certain way something is phrased that can set your emotions off. These are so much more difficult to catch than the conscious ones. It takes a lot of self-awareness to spot these. What makes feeling triggered so uncomfortable is that our bodies and minds try to self-protect and the main reactions are fight, flight, or freeze. We are suddenly under enormous stress and once our stress hormones are on the loose, our coping skills can quickly go from responding to reacting - usually in an unhealthy way.

But how can we identify our triggers? I believe that one of the best ways to recognise what triggered us is to try and go back to identify the moment you went from being okay to not okay. What was it that upset you? Knowing how that trigger made you feel - sad, frustrated, angry, anxious, or scared - can help you move on to how it feels physically. Usually, when we have these feelings there is a distinguished sensation in the body. This can be a lump in your throat, a heaviness in your chest, or a squeamish feeling in your stomach. By identifying and associating a feeling with the triggers you experience, you can understand them better and get to the root of them. As with all things, self-awareness and understanding yourself better is key to dealing with triggers and possibly eliminating them in the long run. You may want to ask yourself when in life you have experienced something like this before and what it reminds you of.

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When you have been triggered, one of the best things to do is take a step back before you react and do something you might regret. Take a pause, a deep breath, go for a walk, journal, and take your time to feel your feelings.

“We are not a victim of our emotions or thoughts. We can understand our triggers and use them as tools to help us respond more objectively.” — Elizabeth Thornton

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But let’s not forget that we also have positive triggers, triggers that bring about good feelings and beautiful memories, triggers that make us feel safe and even loved. It is just as important to identify and understand these, as they can be just as misleading as the negative triggers you may experience.

“Anything that triggers good memories can't be all bad.” — Adam West

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🎶My Song for you

Is this amazing song that I am obsessed with, by the French artist Irma - House of Cards!

For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!

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📚My Poem for you

Is by W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

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👀Impression

I just never get tired of my morning view…

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What are your triggers and how do you cope with them?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a ❤️ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.

Wishing you an amazing day wherever you are.

Yours

Tanja 🤗

Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch