TRANSFORMATION 🦋

AND HOW TO NAVIGATE CHANGE

“Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It's a journey of discovery - there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.” — Rick Warren

I am not a very disciplined writer - unfortunately. I am always in awe of those who can sit down at a certain time every day or every week and just write. My process of writing is a little more chaotic. I get inspiration at the strangest times and places, often when I am working out or running, swimming, walking, or simply doing something physical when it hits me. Sometimes I put a note on my phone or quickly write something down. I literally have notes everywhere. Sometimes these turn into a newsletter and sometimes they don’t. Today’s letter is inspired by something I found recently - it was just some bullet points - and after mulling over it for a bit it now feels right to make something of it. So let’s see how it turns out.

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To begin a transformation, it is essential to know what your story actually is in order to navigate to something better and begin a new story. I believe that this gives you the opportunity to become the best possible version of yourself.

It sounds so simple when you look at it that way, but usually in the process of any transformation, there are obstacles that need to be overcome.

Overcoming obstacles in life usually means that more joy, more energy, and more positivity enters our life. It also seems to become easier to define new goals. The crucial question, however, is how to get there. My first recommendation is always to recognise habits. 45-60% of what we do every day are habits. Often these are already so firmly anchored within us that we don't recognise them easily and we often run on auto-pilot.

So how can we distinguish the good habits - which are usually liberating - from the bad habits - which tend to keep us down and stuck in a rut?

First of all, we need to actually know what our habits are. This is sometimes a bit tricky. Here it can actually help to keep a habit journal for a while. This sounds strange at first, but we need to become aware of our habits in order to distinguish those that enrich us from those that shackle us. Writing down what we do on a daily basis, even just for a few days - the more detailed the better - can be quite enlightening. Knowing what we spend our time with is key.

Once we have identified our habits and routines we can look at them and sort them into good habits and not-so-good habits. By making ourselves very aware of them, we can start to work on them. Similar to strengths and weaknesses, I am a big fan of working on the strengths rather than the weaknesses. It is just much more fun to strengthen the strengths and have that corresponding sense of achievement. Often, this even results in the weaknesses no longer being so relevant. It is quite similar to habits. If we concentrate on the good habits and possibly develop them further, it may well be that the bad habits move into the background and even disappear to some extent.

“If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti

A good example is our physical well-being. If we already have the good habit of exercising once a week, we can expand that to twice a week and take it from there. Interestingly, this is often accompanied by more conscious eating and less appetite. Especially for someone who has the not-so-good habit of eating out of boredom. Of course, this is just one of many examples.

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Essentially it is always about knowing yourself better or even getting to know yourself in the first place. So what is your story? What is holding you back? What is it you cannot let go?

My own story had a very tight grip on me for much too long. It was actually at an Enneagram workshop in Nashville several years ago when I realised that even if my story will always be my story, it doesn’t define me anymore and I have to stop using it as an excuse for the things in my life that are not what I want them to be. I got to a point where my story even bored me. Of course, it will always be a part of me and it made me the person I am today - and I must say, I rather like myself - but it is my history, my past, and not my present or my future. You can see it as a clean slate if you like with the advantage of the experience and learnings of the past. Admittedly it is a constant work in progress and there are still things that trigger me, yet I know why they trigger me and with that knowledge, I find it so much easier to shake these feelings off a lot faster than I used to, as I see them for what they are - mainly ghosts from the past. Admittedly I do keep turning back to the Enneagram when I am in crisis or feel that my own transformation is going in the wrong direction.

You can transform situations and events by putting them into perspective and even seeing them from an outside view. As always easier said than done. What I have found useful is to write things down that upset me or that I am unsure about. I usually put it away for a day or longer and then read it with a mindset as if a good friend had written this to me and asked my advice. While viewing these things from an outside standpoint, it is astonishing how different and often clearer things can become.

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So in summary, here are some more practical steps that can help with our transformation.

1. recognise habits and patterns

It is pretty much about doing the right thing at the right time! You can use the four seasons to get a better understanding.

Sow in spring

Protect in summer

Harvest in autumn

Keep in winter

If you were to reverse the order, you would go very hungry and starve eventually.

2. use patterns and habits

Use patterns and habits to your advantage. These can be your own or those of others. A good example is when you play an instrument, and use the compositions of others.

3. create patterns and habits

Here we can go back to the example from before. So, if you play an instrument, create your own compositions.

I do realise these are very simplified but if you know me a little you know I do love the simple things.

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I talked about my writing process at the beginning of today’s letter because I feel, I want, and I need to transform some of that chaos into something with a little more structure. A work in progress…

“Changing is not just changing the things outside of us. First of all we need the right view that transcends all notions including of being and non-being, creator and creature, mind and spirit. That kind of insight is crucial for transformation and healing.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

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🎶My Song of the Week

In all honesty, I simply chose today’s song because I am in absolute awe of the guitar solo by Prince. I hope you can enjoy this version of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” as much as I do.

For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!

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📚My Poem of the Week

Is by the wonderful Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919)

Change

Changed? Yes I will confess it--I have changed.
I do not love you in the old fond way.
I am your friend still--time has not estranged
One kindly feeling of that vanished day

But the bright glamour which made life a dream,
The rapture of that time, its sweet content,
Like visions of a sleeper's brain they seem--
And yet I cannot tell you how they went.

Why do you gaze with such accusing eyes
Upon me, dear? Is it so very strange
That hearts, like all things underneath God's skies,
Should sometimes feel the influence of change?

The birds, the flowers, the foliage of the trees,
The stars which seem so fixed, and so sublime,
Vast continents, and the eternal seas,--
All these do change, with ever-changing time.

The face our mirror shows us year on year
Is not the same; our dearest aim, or need,
Our lightest thought, or feeling, hope, or fear,--
All, all the law of alternation heed.

How can we ask the human heart to stay,
Content with fancies of Youth's earliest hours?
The year outgrows the violets of May,
Although, maybe, there are no fairer flowers.

And life may hold no sweeter love than this,
Which lies so cold, so voiceless, and so dumb.
And will I miss it, dear? Why yes, we miss
The violets always--till the roses come!

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👀Impressions

Few things in life show better what kind of transformation is possible than a butterfly. This certain specimen decided to take a break and joined me on a walk several years ago…

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A big part of any transformation is always believing in yourself.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments or send me a message. I very much enjoy hearing from you.

Wishing you an amazing weekend.

Yours

Tanja 🤗

Change & Evolve