SOULMATES
REAL OR MYTH ?
Writing about soulmates may sound sappy at first. But what holds this world together at the end of the day are love and faith (and of course chocolate 🍫).
I have heard and still hear people speaking about finding their soulmate in life and love quite often. I suppose finding a perfect partner and sharing your life with someone is one of the big goals in life. Human beings are simply not meant to be alone - of course there are exceptions.
I have, on occasion, even caught myself speaking about my soulmate. And whenever I’ve heard someone talk about their soulmate, it always sounded somewhat tacky but also had a mystical quality. Interestingly, these people often have this completely transfigured look when they talk about it and seem to be far away in another world in that moment. As you know, I am insatiably curious, so I thought I would just dive into this captivating topic and find out what it could mean to meet your soulmate and what a soulmate is or can be. Just a little warning; this might get a bit spiritual, which is a side most of you have not seen from me – yet.
“There are moments, when you’re getting to know someone, when you realize something deep and buried in you is deep and buried in them, too. It feels like meeting a stranger you’ve known your whole life.” – Leah Raeder
In my research of this truly fascinating topic I found the following definition from the Urban Dictionary that I would like to share with you:
SOULMATE
“No one can predict when soul mates will meet. You will meet your soulmate when the souls are ready to meet. Fate and destiny contribute to the romantic bliss and happiness where both partners are so immersed in the strong karmic connection. The relationship between soulmates has a certain magical, mystical feel to it. The love is so strong the chemistry is unexplainable and sex is mind-blowing. Destiny makes sure these people find each other and gives two people the opportunity to have a fabulous relationship, grow as people and learn valuable lessons. A soul mate relationship is a concert being conducted by the universe. With your soulmate before you, you shed the fears and masks that deny you, real love. You both work together in balance and always striving for equality and respecting each others contributions. Love is the center of everything you do, the synergy will be magnified with the power you need to manifest your dreams together. Soulmates feel that their souls are connected no matter the distance. Everything blends together harmoniously, conversations flow seamlessly, you feel their touch when apart and their voice echoes in your mind peacefully. A soulmate is your twin, a reflection of yourself, someone that will hold your hand and walk with you in darkness. Your soulmate makes you proud and everything he/she does or says you find enlightening. A soulmate completes you.”
Admittedly this sounds very Hollywood to me. Can it really be that perfect? It sounds like heaven on earth and all the peace that comes with it. As I know from experience that very little in life is that perfect, I started digging a little deeper and it seems that this one definition only shows the sunny side of this topic and there seems to be so much more to it. Now my curiosity has been tickled there is no turning back. So I will dive in a little deeper!
“Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most. Burning edges and scars and stars. Old pains and pangs, captivation and beauty. Strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.” – Victoria Erickson
One thing that is certainly true is that to love is to learn. We learn so much about ourselves in relationships. There are people who can transport us to heaven one moment and to the deepest hell the next (doesn’t that sound so much more realistic?). There are fateful connections, karmic relationships and there are spiritual soul connections – soulmates.
“…and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment…”
― Plato, The Symposium
So even the Greek philosopher Plato speaks of the fact that at the beginning of human existence souls or humans were divided into two halves. From now on they are condemned to feel a constant longing for their second half and the desire to reunite. This is what Plato calls love.
“Love is born into every human being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature.”
― Plato, The Symposium
In more esoteric circles nowadays the term “dual soul” is also often used. This dual soul means nothing other than this one soul partner, two people who complement each other perfectly, who is one on a soul level, two parts of a whole – soulmates.
It is said that soul partners meet again and again from incarnation to incarnation - which you may believe in or not. They are closely connected with each other and in phases of separation both profit from the experiences of the other. One way or the other we have probably all experienced this phenomenon that someone you have just met, feels very close and familiar as if you have known each other forever.
“With some we’re certain our hearts must’ve been aquainted long before we have ever met them.” – Shakieb Orgunwall
The question is though, how can you recognise your soulmate?
Here are some of the indications that you may have met your soulmate:
Feelings that are as strong as you have never experienced before.
You seem to have known the other for a long time, even though you have just met.
It is an electrifying feeling between the two that words cannot describe.
It almost feels as if you had not lived before this reunion happened.
You feel a deep, almost divine connection with the other person that you have never felt before.
It brings feelings to the surface that you never thought were possible.
You feel inseparably connected to each other.
When you look into each other’s eyes, space and time seem meaningless.
No barriers seem to exist between the two partners. The connection is absolutely unique.
A conversation seems endless.
The relationship, whether romantic or not, has an intensity that can’t really be explained. You may even feel a strong past-life connection.
You feel unconditional love, you just love without demanding, no matter how the other person behaves.
You feel the energy of the other, intuitively knowing how the other is doing.
Because of many similarities, you will undoubtedly have the sense of completion by the other.
The encounter can often bring many life changes. Perhaps, meeting this person turns your life around in a dramatic way.
If in a romantic relationship, the strong build of energy may cause you to enter into an “on and off again” relationship.
You experience a degree of intimacy, sexuality, and friendship that is without equal.
Those are a lot of signs to look out for but at the end of the day, I believe the only way to really tell is by trusting your own intuitive feelings and your heart. If this were Hollywood then we would end here with the “happily ever after”. But this is not a cheesy film so let’s look into this just a little more.
Since soulmates also have their karma, these relationships are not always easy. In any case, the encounter with the soulmate, one’s own dual soul or twin flame, is something very special for many people, often a drastic experience that overturns their whole life or paves the way for great spiritual and personal growth processes. After meeting the soul partner, often nothing is as it was before…
“You were you, and I was I; We were two before our time. I was yours before I knew, and you have always been mine too.” – Lang Leav
"What God has joined together, let not man put asunder."
This sentence is familiar to all of us from the church wedding ceremony and it is often used as an argument against divorce. However, if you believe in soulmates, in the fact that there are people who are destined for each other by fate, this sentence immediately takes on a completely different, more conclusive meaning: what has been joined together by God, man shall not separate, because he cannot, this relationship is destiny.
Maybe you wonder if you have already met your soulmate, maybe you are sure that you have met him or her, but your relationship is difficult. This unfortunately is not really that unusual. Soulmates don’t necessarily have to be forever. Often once the lesson you are to learn is learned, soulmates can move on.
This may be very different from how you may have perceived the soulmate connection, but it may also describe those exciting and very intimate relationships that change everything in your life yet they are not meant to last. Sometimes soulmate relationships can blossom forever, and other times they are simply so intense that they need to be released.
Even though soulmates may not physically stay together forever, the love that connects them is and always will be there. Soulmates touch us in such deep and profound ways that their memory will remain with us as long as we live (and possibly beyond).
Have I met my soulmate in life yet? Yes, I have and it was one of those relationships that were not meant to be. We never had a real chance in this life. I remember something he said to me – it was at the beginning of a long on and off relationship. He said, “please make sure we meet at an earlier stage of our lives in our next life so we can be together and live a long life.” Perhaps he already knew we were meant to be together even though it was impossible in the here and now. Looking back he was unfortunately right and it took me a while to make my peace with what at the time felt was a very cruel injustice and a very bad cosmic joke. Loving your soulmate, your twin flame, can be excruciatingly painful but love should not hurt like that.
“Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love. But in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt” ― Liam Neeson
With time to think about it, process it, and the necessary distance, I know that he was most likely right all along - even if I still miss him. Sometimes souls still have a lot to learn before they can reunite and have their happily ever after. My story is a very beautiful one though, full of love, happiness, and amazing memories to last me a lifetime. I am endlessly grateful for all of it as it has taught me so much and changed my life for the better in every aspect. I have no regrets whatsoever and would not have wanted to miss a single moment - the good and the ugly.
And now it is for you to decide whether soulmates are real or just a myth.
🎶My Song of the Week
I simply adore Beth Hart and Joe Bonamassa - two brilliant artists that had to finally make the list!
All the songs - the soundtrack of the Change & Evolve Letters - are on this Spotify playlist
📚My Poem of the Week
Is one by Edward Estlin Cummings better known as E. E. Cummings (1894-1962). This poem could have been written for a soulmate whose heart you always carry with you!
[i Carry Your Heart With Me(i Carry It In]
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
👀Impressions
I pass Possenhofen Castle on the shore of Lake Starnberg on my runs by the lake regularly and thought I would give you a little glimpse of it. It was bought in 1834 by Maximilian, Duke in Bavaria, father of "Sissi", the future Empress Elisabeth (wife of Emperor Franz Joseph I of Austria), and is best remembered today as her childhood home…
If you would like to connect with me, find out more about the Enneagram and yourself, how it can transform you and your life, I would be happy to take the time for a speed coaching call that you can reserve right here go to my website or simply hit reply and get in touch with me directly.
Have you met your soulmate? I would love to hear your story!
Have a fabulous start to your weekend
Yours
Tanja 🤗
PS. I am admittedly a sappy, cheesy, tacky, and absolutely hopeless romantic! And since Valentines’ Day is coming up - I know, you either love or hate it - I will share a daily Letter, just for one week, starting on Monday revolving around love and relationships. Each Letter will give an idea of how to keep a relationship alive and thriving ❤️!