SELF-AWARENESS - A TRUE SUPERPOWER💪🏽

HOW THE ENNEAGRAM CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

Apr 04, 2025

For my newer readers who don’t know what I do, what my passion is, or what the Enneagram is, I thought it would be fun to explore the subject a bit again. I can only scratch the surface here, but I believe it gives a good first impression.

Self-awareness. It sounds like one of those buzzwords people throw around in self-help books, right? Know thyself! as if that’s an easy thing to do. But here’s the thing -most of us have no idea why we do what we do. We think we are in control, making logical choices, but really, we’re running on a well-worn loop of habits, fears, and emotional reflexes, it’s the infamous autopilot.

Enter the Enneagram - a personality system that doesn’t just tell you who you are but why you are the way you are. It’s like a mirror that shows you all the unconscious patterns that have been running the show behind the scenes, your motivations. Spoiler alert: some of them aren’t great. But the good news? Once you see them, you can finally start rewriting your script.

Let’s dive deeper into what the Enneagram is and why I believe it might just be the most powerful tool for personal growth you’ve ever encountered.

What Is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is a personality system that describes nine types, each with its own core motivations, fears, and behavioural quirks. But unlike other personality tests that just categorise you (congrats, you’re an introvert!), the Enneagram digs into the why behind your actions. It doesn’t just tell you that you avoid conflict, it explains that you do it because, deep down, you fear disconnection and discomfort.

A quick rundown of the nine types:

The Perfectionist (Type 1) – Thinks there’s a “right way” to do everything. Spends a lot of time mentally correcting people’s grammar.
The Helper (Type 2) – Believes love must be earned through self-sacrifice. Can’t sit down without offering to get someone a drink first.
The Achiever (Type 3) – Measures worth by success. Probably have a to-do list for their to-do list.
The Individualist (Type 4) – Sees themselves as unique and deeply emotional. Loves deep conversations and rainy-day playlists.
The Investigator (Type 5) – Wants to understand everything before making a move. Probably has a secret stockpile of books.
The Loyalist (Type 6) – Always prepared for disaster. Can spot a worst-case scenario from a mile away.
The Enthusiast (Type 7) – Loves adventure, and hates boredom. Plans three vacations while on vacation.
The Challenger (Type 8) – Natural leaders who don’t do well with authority. Once argued with a GPS for fun.
The Peacemaker (Type 9) – Just wants everyone to get along. Probably says, “I’m fine with whatever” at least five times a day.

We all have a bit of each type in us, but one core type dominates our fears, motivations, and behaviours. Knowing it is like getting the user manual for your own brain.

The Hidden Power of Knowing Your Type

Here’s the thing: most of us go through life on autopilot, reacting to situations without really questioning why. Understanding your Enneagram type changes that. It’s like suddenly realising you’ve been living in a house full of hidden trapdoors, and now you’ve got the blueprint.

You start noticing your default reactions – Instead of wondering why you’re mad that someone left a dish in the sink, you recognise it’s because your Type 1 brain sees it as a moral failing.
You stop blaming others for your feelings – That emotional rollercoaster? Turns out, it’s not just your ex’s fault.
You gain clarity on what truly fulfills you – Instead of chasing validation, security, or success, you start making choices that actually align with what you need.

How the Enneagram Helps You Grow

The Enneagram isn’t about putting yourself in a box—it’s about realising the box you’ve been living in this whole time and finally stepping out of it.

Each type has a growth path:

Type 1s learn that perfection is overrated (and exhausting).
Type 2s realize they don’t have to set themselves on fire to keep others warm.
Type 3s discover they’re still worthy even when they’re not winning.
Type 4s find beauty in what is, not just what’s missing.
Type 5s let people in instead of just observing from the sidelines.
Type 6s stop second-guessing everything and trust themselves.
Type 7s learn that slowing down won’t kill them.
Type 8s understand that vulnerability isn’t weakness.
Type 9s stop avoiding conflict and start expressing what they actually want.

The Enneagram and Relationships

If you’ve ever wondered, why do I keep having the same argument with my partner?, the Enneagram has answers.

It helps you understand why people react the way they do.
It teaches you how to communicate in a way that actually works.
It makes you realise that not everyone sees the world the way you do (shocking, I know).

For example, a Type 6 might be asking a million questions because they need reassurance, not because they don’t trust you. A Type 8 might be blunt and direct, not because they’re trying to start a fight, but because they value honesty. Once you get that, relationships become so much easier.

How to Use the Enneagram in Everyday Life

Pause before reacting. Is this response coming from a place of fear, habit, or actual logic?
Lean into growth. Identify where your type struggles and actively work on shifting that pattern.
Use it as a tool, not an excuse. Saying, “Sorry I ignored your text, I’m a Type 5” doesn’t cut it. Growth means recognising your tendencies and improving them.

🎶My Song for you

This is a stunningly beautiful song by Cat Power - The Greatest…

For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!

📚My Poem for you

Is by Jenny Joseph (1932-2018)

Warning

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.