The Word That Lingered
As most of you probably know, English is not my first but my second language—and yet, it's my favourite by far. I have a deep love for words, and once in a while, one of them captures my attention in a way that feels almost poetic. It lingers. It rolls off the tongue in a way that is both elegant and comforting. It makes me pause. Recently, that word was "equilibrium."
Elegant, quiet, and yet powerful—it describes a state so many systems strive for, but so few seem to maintain. It’s a concept rooted in physics, biology, and economics, but its resonance stretches far beyond the pages of textbooks. In a world spinning with extremes, equilibrium feels like both a forgotten art and even a radical ambition.
This post isn’t a lesson in definitions—it’s more of an exploration. A reflection on how the idea of equilibrium shows up everywhere: in ecosystems, markets, minds, societies, and most intimately, in relationships.
The Science of Stillness
In physics, equilibrium is when all the forces acting on an object cancel each other out—nothing moves. A dream scenario, perhaps, if you’ve ever tried to balance a stack of IKEA furniture instructions, a toddler, and your own sense of self-worth. But seriously, this kind of balance, though seemingly static, is a result of tension and counter-tension working in exquisite harmony.
Biology offers us homeostasis—a fancy term for the body's tireless attempt to keep everything running just right. Not too hot, not too cold. Heart rate just so. Hormones dancing to a rhythm only they seem to understand. It’s a miracle we ever function at all, considering the daily chaos we throw into the mix: caffeine overdoses, sleep deprivation, and whatever that thing was we called dinner.
In chemistry, equilibrium is even sneakier. Reactions happen simultaneously in both directions until everything stabilises. You don't see it, but it's happening—silent, continuous negotiation on a molecular level. Rather like trying to decide where to go for dinner with friends: one wants sushi, the other pizza, and eventually, you land on fusion cuisine nobody actually enjoys.
So, equilibrium isn’t about nothing happening. It’s about everything happening in balance and harmony. Dynamic tension. Held opposites. A tug-of-war where no side wins—but neither loses. It’s not the calm before the storm. It’s the calm during the storm.
We may think of science as the domain of certainty and order, but equilibrium reminds us that even in the most exact fields, balance is something maintained, not gifted. It’s fought for, often quietly. And it always requires compromise.
And honestly, isn’t that the most relatable thing of all?
Equilibrium of the Mind
If the scientific world deals with physical and chemical balances, our inner world deals with emotional ones—and here, the challenge is no less intricate. In psychology, equilibrium is often referred to as emotional regulation: that elusive ability to remain steady in the face of chaos, temptation, or heartache.
Think of your mind as a stage. On it, a cast of emotions performs daily: joy, fear, anger, love, shame, excitement, and everything in between. Sometimes the lead roles switch mid-scene. Sometimes the lighting fails, and the wrong script shows up. Maintaining mental equilibrium in that theatre is not about silencing the actors, it’s about directing them with enough grace that no one throws a chair into the audience.
We all know those days. The ones where the email notification pings and your pulse surges. Or where an offhand comment from someone you love sends you spiralling into an internal monologue that rivals Shakespearean tragedy. In a society addicted to speed, noise, and constant commentary, finding inner stillness is less about candles and breathwork (though they can help!) and more about becoming an observer of your own inner weather.
Emotional balance doesn't mean you don’t get upset or overwhelmed. It means you develop the capacity to return to the centre. To not let one emotion hijack the whole show. And yes, that includes recognising when your reaction is about this moment, or about every unresolved issue from the last ten years suddenly demanding your attention.
What makes it trickier today is that we live in a world that celebrates extremes. We are expected to hustle nonstop or burn out entirely. To be deeply engaged or completely indifferent. Scroll through social media and you’ll find curated rage, curated joy, and curated vulnerability. It’s all performative—and so very exhausting. There’s little space for the quiet middle. For moderation. For equilibrium.
But maybe the most radical form of mental strength is that quiet return to self. The refusal to be pulled off course every five minutes by someone else’s urgency. The ability to say, "This is uncomfortable, but I can sit with it." That is equilibrium in its rawest, most beautiful form: not the absence of conflict, but the courage to remain rooted in the middle of it.
Societal Equilibrium – A Myth?
If individual mental balance is a challenge, societal equilibrium sometimes feels like a distant fantasy. Our collective systems—media, politics, education—are meant to hold society together, to create a sense of shared reality. But increasingly, they resemble battlegrounds more than bridges.
Division has become the new normal. Polarisation isn't just a trend, it's an entire infrastructure. People live in curated echo chambers, where algorithms feed them exactly what they already believe, reinforcing biases and fanning flames. Dialogue has been replaced by slogans. Debate by cancellation. Empathy by tribalism.
Societal equilibrium requires a balance between freedom and responsibility, between personal rights and collective good. But in many places, this balance has tipped dangerously. Either people are shouted down for expressing an unpopular opinion, or worse, completely disengage because the noise has become unbearable. We are either hyper-activated or completely numbed. And when that happens, the middle ground—where real dialogue and compromise could take place—becomes a ghost town.
We don’t need to agree on everything to be in equilibrium. In fact, I believe that disagreement is essential for growth. But the current climate isn't about respectful disagreement; it’s about scorched-earth tactics. If you’re not with me, you’re against me. And if you’re against me, you don’t just disagree—you’re dangerous.
Societal equilibrium means being able to hold competing truths, to sit in discomfort, to acknowledge complexity without needing immediate resolution. It means understanding that nuance isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
Perhaps the greatest danger of our divided times isn’t that we disagree—it’s that we’ve forgotten how to disagree well. If we are ever to regain equilibrium, we’ll have to relearn the lost art of listening—not just to respond, but to understand.
And maybe, just maybe, we need to ask ourselves if being right is worth more than being whole.
The Subtle Art of Balance in Relationships
In relationships, equilibrium is a moving target. Two people, each a dynamic system of emotions, experiences, and expectations, trying to share space without losing themselves. It's beautiful. It's maddening. And it requires more skill than any manual ever prepared us for.
Equilibrium in relationships is not about 50/50 splits. It's not measured in exact minutes of attention or perfectly equal emotional investment. It's more like a dance—fluid, responsive, shifting. Sometimes one leads, sometimes the other. Sometimes you both stumble. And yet, when there’s real balance, neither partner is left carrying the entire emotional weight.
Healthy equilibrium means that needs can be expressed without fear, and heard without defense. It means space exists for individuality and togetherness to coexist. It’s the courage to say what’s real and the maturity to hear what’s uncomfortable.
But achieving balance in relationships also requires us to challenge our deeply held beliefs. Beliefs like “if they loved me, they’d know” or “I shouldn’t have to ask.” Equilibrium demands vulnerability, the ability to say: “This is what I need” or “I feel off-center.” It invites us to show up with honesty, even when pride wants to shut the door.
Boundaries are not barriers—they are the lines that define the dance floor. Without them, one person may begin to dissolve into the other, or worse, into resentment. Without equilibrium, relationships become lopsided—where one gives until they are empty and the other receives without even realising the cost.
And yet, when balance and harmony are present, there’s magic. It’s in the unspoken understanding. The shared silence. The space to breathe. The deep knowing that one can be both strong and soft, needed and free, safe and challenged.
In today’s world of fast connections and fleeting attention, equilibrium in relationships might just be one of the rarest—and most rewarding—forms of intimacy. And perhaps, it’s not about perfection or permanence, but about the consistent return. The gentle, intentional recalibration that says: “We are in this together—and I am listening.”
The Courage to Seek Balance
Equilibrium, in all its forms, is not about achieving a perfect, frozen state. It is about motion held with grace, tension met with gentleness, and difference held without destruction. Whether in the body, the mind, our communities, or our most intimate relationships, balance is not a luxury—it is a necessity.
We live in a world that has glorified imbalance. We chase intensity, applause, and certainty. We’ve been told that standing in the middle is weakness, when in fact, it takes more strength than any extreme ever will. Extremes are easy. Balance is brave.
To seek equilibrium is to say: I will not be pulled to the edges just because others are. I will find stillness in motion. I will listen when it’s easier to shout. I will reflect when it’s tempting to react. I will hold nuance when simplicity seduces me. I will choose understanding over ego.
It’s time we gave balance a better PR team. Because in a world spinning with noise, what we need most might not be more opinions or louder voices, but more calm, courageous steadiness.
So let’s return to the middle—not because it’s comfortable, but because it’s where true resilience lives. Let’s reclaim the radical act of equilibrium.
🎶My Song for you
I am guessing you all know the beautiful song “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel. I chose a version of this song as it has a powerful haunting intensity, that you might not yet know, but that I find worth hearing nonetheless - it is one by Disturbed.
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
📚My Poem for you
Is by William Blake (1757—1827)
Auguries of Innocence
To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand And eternity in an hour. A robin redbreast in a cage Puts all Heaven in a rage. A dove house fill'd with doves and pigeons Shudders Hell thro' all its regions. A dog starv'd at his master's gate Predicts the ruin of the state. A horse misus'd upon the road Calls to Heaven for human blood. Each outcry of the hunted hare A fibre from the brain does tear. A skylark wounded in the wing, A Cherubim does cease to sing. The game cock clipp'd and arm'd for fight Does the rising Sun affright. Every wolf's and lion's howl Raises from Hell a human soul. ... He who respects the infant's faith Triumphs over Hell and Death. The child's toys and the old man's reasons Are the fruits of the two seasons. The questioner, who sits so sly, Shall never know how to reply. He who replies to words of doubt Doth put the light of Knowledge out. The strongest poison ever known Came from Caesar's laurel crown, Nought can deform the human race Like to the armour's iron brace. When gold and gems adorn the plow To peaceful arts shall Envy bow. A riddle or the cricket's cry Is to doubt a fit reply. The emmet's inch and eagle's mile Make lame Philosophy to smile. He who doubts from what he sees Will ne'er believe, do what you please. If the Sun and Moon should doubt, They'd immediately go out. To be in a passion you good may do, But no good if a passion is in you. The whore and gambler, by the state Licens'd, build that nation's fate. The harlot's cry from street to street, Shall weave Old England's winding sheet. The winner's shout, the loser's curse, Dance before dead England's hearse. Every night and every morn Some to misery are born. Every morn and every night Some are born to sweet delight. Some are born to sweet delight, Some are born to endless night. We are led to believe a lie When we see not thro' the eye Which was born in a night to perish in a night, When the Soul slept in beams of light. God appears and God is light To those poor souls who dwell in night, But does a human form display To those who dwell in realms of day.
👀Impression
Just a snapshot from a walk that was unbelievably peaceful…
What does equilibrium mean to you?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a ❤️ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.
Wishing you a balanced weekend wherever you are.
Yours
Tanja 🤗
PS. You can now also find my podcast on Spotify
Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch
Loved your post Tanja and the beautiful photo which looks as though all is well with the world. Just shows that appearances can be deceptive but a great reminder that creation is good and to be enjoyed - and perhaps we can live in equilibrium? Thanks for the prompts and reminders of the importance of all our interactions - and the power of listening.