I have been chewing on this topic for a while now and believe it is exactly the right time to put my thoughts in writing.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela
I would like to start by addressing a very topical issue that affects us all. Living in today’s world and not following the general narrative requires a certain amount of courage in itself. Of course, I am not only talking about COVID and the ever-increasing pressure that is still being built up and the abstruse methods with which even the last person is to be coerced into vaccination. I am speaking about resisting the narrative of climate change, of the economics of pretty much everything we are supposed to believe is being said in done in our best interest. I do realise there are many different opinions out there – although unfortunately there is only one opinion that is socially widely accepted – and I still believe in our right to decide freely whether we want vaccination or not, heat our houses or not, drive our cars or not, and travel or not, to name just a few, without fundamental rights being taken away if we refuse to limit ourselves for causes that makes no sense. I am admittedly forever an incurable optimist.
Having said this, and considering the threatened consequences for those not complying, it takes a lot of courage to remain true to one’s convictions. I know that many people have become followers out of convenience because they want to regain their so-called “freedom” without being aware of the possible consequences. Most probably not even realising that they are actually giving up their freedom and civil rights. But this is also a free decision.
It takes incredible courage to remain strong. You are shamed by the majority as asocial and even dangerous. It takes courage not to buckle and stand by your convictions, especially knowing that sooner or later you will be ostracised more and more.
“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” — Soren Kierkegaard
This is a beautiful quote when speaking of courage. Just think about it for a minute… Essentially you can choose to trip, fall and hurt yourself if you dare to do what you believe is right, following your heart. Or you don’t, you risk losing who you truly are. So when you are afraid and act nonetheless it is a form of nobility, and I believe that all of us have it in us to do it.
“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
I remember well when my little brother, who was 13 years younger than me, showed courage, or in his case civil courage, when he stood up for a girl in his class against a teacher when he was in first grade at school. We then explained to him the difference between civil courage and impudence and told him how unspeakably proud we were of him for showing so much courage at the age of 6 and for doing what was right and not what was comfortable.
I can remember times in my childhood — and my adulthood, too — when I would have liked to act as bravely as my brother did. I tried to take him as a good example but could not always muster the courage to follow my heart and do what was right. Maybe I simply wasn’t always lion-hearted or quick-witted enough but I never gave up. I have tried to be courageous in my life and have failed many times, paying a price and never regretting it when I did show courage. I know though how much I have to gain by plucking up my courage and to keep trying. Courage is essential to help us grow and give. And it really is available to each and every one of us.
“There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” — Viktor Frankl
Courage is not about how to take monumentally brave or heroic actions. It is instead about understanding what courage really is and allowing ourselves to perform small, daily acts of bravery.
We are all very different and some are naturally braver and others more fearful by nature, and that is alright. But even courage is something you can practice and train, like a muscle. It becomes easier with practice and repetition. You learn courage by couraging.
Even just saying what you really feel, want and need takes great courage and is part of any kind of relationship you have, be it personal or professional. Courage can also mean to sometimes just take that leap of faith even if you risk failure.
We are much braver than we think we are. It helps to simply notice our everyday actions, making what we do more conscious, just realising when we are doing something brave or out of the ordinary.
“A shy man no doubt dreads the notice of strangers, but can hardly be said to be afraid of them. He may be as bold as a hero in battle, and yet have no self-confidence about trifles in the presence of strangers.” — Charles Darwin
What is really interesting is that it’s often so much easier to be courageous on behalf of others than it is for your own sake. I know this from my own experience and I am sure that many of you do too. For most of us, it takes a lot more courage to stand up for ourselves. One of the reasons why we find this so challenging is that we do not want to appear selfish or self-absorbed. We often feel shame in standing up for ourselves. I don’t tire of saying that you can be so much better for others if you are good to yourself.
If you want to train your courage muscle it can help to find others who are like-minded to make things easier for you. It may also help you to focus more on the positive things in life.
You may also try and find a role model. I would look for the quiet more humble ones and not the ones showing the grand gestures in the limelight. If you open your eyes you will see many people around you with different eyes. Courage lies in the small and everyday things that happen around us all the time if we open our eyes and hearts to them.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.'” — Mary Anne Radmacher
🎶My Song of the Week
Is this absolute beautiful song by Susan Enon - Bring on the Wonder
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
📚My Poem of the Week
Is by Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)
Don’t Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low but the debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit… Rest if you must, but don’t you quit! Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many failures turn about When we might have won had we stuck it out. Don’t give up though the pace seems slow… You may succeed with another blow. Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor’s cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out… And you can never tell how close you are It may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
👀Impressions
I took this one on a morning run by Lake Starnberg
If you would like to connect with me, find out more about the Enneagram and yourself, and how it can transform you and your life, I would be happy to take the time for a speed coaching call that you can reserve right here go to my website or simply hit reply and get in touch with me directly.
I would love to hear what COURAGE and being courageous mean to you. In the meantime, I wish you an amazing weekend and look very much forward to hearing from you.
Yours
Tanja 🤗
Recently had a real conversation with a normal logical human being, telling him how I was fired for not complying with my employer's vax mandate. He looked directly at me and quoted Mark Twain: "It is curious that physical courage should be so common and moral courage so rare." It brought tears to my eyes and I was momentarily speechless but boy did I feel understood. I will never forget that moment.
Loved the post and the photo by the lake. The story of your little brother is profound at 6yo and you then wonder is courage an innate quality or one that is learned or taught? What is clear is that when courage is demonstrated so that it i impossible to ingnore, it has an impact on the observer and probably calls courage out of us. I have noted that in groups when a single individual has the courage to articulate the unpopular opinion, license is then given for others to express an unpopular view. In the days ahead we are all going to have to step up to the plate and be courageous.