CONFIDENCE 💪🏼
HOW TO KEEP IT ALIVE WITH FAITH
No matter how rough and tough things may seem, there is always a way to hold onto confidence and faith. It may not always be easy, and sometimes, it feels downright impossible. But if there is one thing I have learned, it is that confidence, like faith, is not something you simply have, it is something you practice, nurture, and sometimes stubbornly cling to like a cat refusing to let go of a piece of furniture.
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” — Helen Keller
More than once, I have lost my usually strong confidence, especially in the past few years. Life has a way of throwing challenges at us that shake the very foundation of who we are. When things don’t go as planned, when we feel abandoned or lost, when the world seems to move in a direction that makes no sense, confidence can slip through our fingers like sand at the beach - except we’re not relaxing in the sun, we’re bracing for a storm. And when it does, what then?
Fake it ‘til you make it?
I have never been a big fan of pretence, but I must admit that sometimes, “fake it ‘til you make it” is the only way forward. Confidence is not always an inherent trait; it is often a habit. You stand up straight even when you feel small, you speak with certainty even when doubt whispers in your ear, and you take the next step forward even when you’re unsure of the ground beneath you. And somehow, in that repetition, confidence starts to return. It’s like tricking yourself into being brave, kind of like when you tell yourself that a salad is just as satisfying as a slice of cake (spoiler alert: it’s not, but we roll with it anyway).
The truth is, most people who seem confident are simply very good at pretending until their mind catches up. Have you ever watched someone walk into a room and command attention just by the way they carry themselves? Chances are, they’ve mastered the art of projecting confidence, even if internally, they’re thinking about whether they left the stove on.
Confidence is an inside job, but sometimes it starts from the outside. Wearing clothes that make you feel strong an secure can have an effect. Speak as if your words matter, because they do. Take up space without apologising for it. Soon enough, these external signals start to rewire your brain, and before you know it, you’re not just faking confidence anymore but you actually have it.
But confidence without faith feels hollow. And that is where my own journey has surprised me.
Faith: A newfound anchor
I have never been much of a religious person. Not in the traditional sense. I have always had my issues with institutional religion, hypocrisy, double standards, and the way morality is sometimes twisted to serve human agendas rather than something truly sacred. But despite this, I find myself moving toward faith more than ever before.
Perhaps it is because the world feels increasingly unstable, its values shifting in ways that make me feel out of place. I am rather old-school when it comes to morals and values, and sometimes, I wonder if I belong in this era at all. But rather than losing myself in cynicism, I find that faith, whether in something divine, in the resilience of the human spirit, or simply in the idea that there is a greater plan, keeps me anchored.
“It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.” — Epicurus
Faith as the foundation of confidence
Faith, in any form, gives us something solid to stand on when everything else feels shaky. It reminds us that we are not alone, that our struggles have meaning, and that even when we cannot see the way forward, there is still a way.
Confidence thrives when it is built on something deeper than ego. It grows when we trust in something beyond ourselves when we believe that we are capable, that we are worthy, that we are meant to be here, right now, for a reason. And let’s be honest, faith also gives us something to lean on when we are just too exhausted to hold ourselves up anymore.
“Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.” — Oswald Chambers
A strange encounter with faith
Not too long ago, I had an experience that caught me completely off guard. While traveling in Switzerland, I did something I hadn’t done in a very long time: I visited a church. It was a stunning place, filled with history, beauty, and a quiet stillness that seemed to hum in the air. As I walked through, admiring its grandeur, something unexpected happened.
A tsunami of emotions hit me all at once, and before I could make sense of it, tears streamed down my face. I was overwhelmed, caught between confusion and relief. At first, I thought, “What is wrong with me?” And then, just as quickly, “What if nothing is wrong with me? What if something is actually right?”
It reminded me of something that had happened many years ago. When I was 21, my best friend, who was just 20, took his own life. I was the last person to see him alive, and for a long time, I carried the weight of that loss. My first reaction wasn’t even sadness, it was anger. I was furious that he had left me behind. Then came the grief, then the acceptance, and eventually, the memories started to fade.
Years later, I took a trip to Crete and visited a tiny, beautiful church. While everyone else had left, I stayed behind for a moment of solitude. As I stepped inside, something incredible happened, I felt him there with me. He was not religious, but in that space, I felt his presence so strongly that, for the first time, I made peace with his decision, with his absence, with the love and loss that had defined so much of my early life.
Perhaps certain places hold a kind of magic. Perhaps years of prayers, whispered hopes, and silent sorrows, leave an energy behind that some of us are more open to feeling. Or perhaps, when we are in tune with ourselves and the world around us, we become capable of sensing things that logic cannot explain. Whatever it is, I no longer question it.
Are there things we can do to hold onto confidence and faith?
I truly believe there are.
You can ground yourself in what you believe
Whatever faith looks like for you - whether it is spiritual, philosophical, or a simple belief in the good - it helps to remind yourself of it daily. Read, pray, meditate, reflect, do what feels good and right to you. Strengthen your inner foundation. And if that doesn’t work? Try this: remember a time when you felt truly confident, whether it was acing a presentation, making someone laugh, or simply having a good hair day. Channel that version of yourself. The brain is wonderfully suggestible, and sometimes, simply reminding yourself that you have been confident before is enough to bring that feeling back to life.
Act confident, even when you are not
This is not about deception; it is about training your mind and body to believe in yourself again. Posture, voice, presence, all of these things shape not only how others see us but how we see ourselves. Walk into a room like you belong there. If nothing else, people will assume you’re in charge of something.
Detach from the noise of the world
This is important. The modern world is loud, and it often values the superficial over the meaningful. Step back when needed to protect your own sense of truth and self-worth. And for the love of all things good, don’t compare yourself to people on social media - 99% of them don’t even look like that in real life.
Essentially confidence and faith are deeply intertwined. When we lose one, the other easily follows. But when we nurture both, we create a foundation that can weather pretty much any storm.
No matter what life throws at you, no matter how lost or uncertain you may feel, hold onto this: there is always a way forward. There is always a reason to believe. And there is always a reason to stand tall, even when the world tries to make you small.
And if all else fails, just remember - fake it ‘til you make it, keep a sense of humour, and have a little faith that things will turn out okay in the end. Because they usually do.
“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” — Marie Curie
🎶My Song for you
I love this band and I hope you enjoy In Demand by Texas…
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
📚My Poem for you
Is by Emily Dickinson (1830—1886)
On a Columnar Self
On a Columnar Self— How ample to rely In Tumult—or Extremity— How good the Certainty That Lever cannot pry— And Wedge cannot divide Conviction—That Granitic Base— Though None be on our Side— Suffice Us—for a Crowd— Ourself—and Rectitude— And that Assembly—not far off From furthest Spirit—God—
👀Impression
That is what confidence in a cat looks like - ok, he is just unbelievably cheeky…
What do you associate with confidence?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a ❤️ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.
Wishing you a joyful weekend wherever you are.
Yours
Tanja 🤗
PS. You can now also find my podcast on Spotify
Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch
Wonderful post Tanja and so much in it. Not sure about "fake it till you make it" but I suppose it is worth a try! Thanks for sharing your own surprising journey of faith and the little church. God is at work and I suspect that this was the Holy Spirit prompting you. God is always close. Oswald Chambers is a man who shared so much wisdom and I love the quote you shared: “Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.” — Oswald Chambers
Thanks for the photo of your cat who is a great character and always seems to find an interesting place in the house.