ARE RELATIONSHIPS BUSINESS DEALS?
HAVE YOU READ THE FINE PRINT?
If any of you have watched the series “The Big Bang Theory” you are acquainted with the character of Sheldon Cooper. He has a “Relationship Agreement” with his girlfriend Amy which defines every little aspect of their relationship – including the fine print…
This got me thinking… Aren’t personal relationships often a lot like business relationships or even business deals?
There are rules we need to abide by, there are compromises to be made, and there are behavior patterns we must follow.
So why do we find it so difficult to see a healthy relationship as a good and healthy business relationship?
What has to happen to bring a business deal together, when two parties decide to get into business together?
1. They find the common ground
2. They weigh the options
3. They negotiate to achieve the best possible outcome
4. They define the conditions
5. They put it in writing and sign it
So are relationships that much different than a business deal?
I would like to give you an example…
We so often see older men with (often very much) younger women and to be fair we see it quite often the other way around as well (although this is socially not as accepted yet – but that is a different topic). But let’s stay with the example of the older man with a younger woman, simply because we see it so much more often.
I am sure there are cases where it is real and true love, but in many or even most cases, it is simply a business deal – very much like the deal between a prostitute and her client (even if that is usually much shorter). Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to prostitution whatsoever as long as it is voluntary. It is a business and the oldest one there is… But I am drifting off.
So what do both sides want to get out of this “DEAL”?
The man expects to gain:
Arm Candy
Recognition
Envy
Being taken care of
Great sex etc.
The woman expects to gain:
Security
Fame/name recognition
Envy
Being taken care of
Great sex etc.
So we see quite some common ground here to work with (which is essential for any kind of relationship – so communicate).
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The next step could be to weigh the options they have and decide if they want to go into the negotiation of how the relationship (business deal) could work out.
Then they define the conditions of this relationship such as moving together (or not), getting married (or not), having children (or not), etc. You understand where I am getting at!
What follows is often, especially when they decide to get married, the signing of a contract. It doesn’t really matter if it is a prenuptial agreement or a marriage certificate. Even if they do not get married there are usually laws that are applied in case of separation.
At the end of the day, any form of relationship is a bit like a business deal.
Did I just take the ROMANCE out of LOVE?
I hope not and that is – especially as a hopeless romantic – not my intention. But when you think about it there is quite some truth in it.
In a business relationship the conditions change over time, the demands and needs change and you have to adapt, except this change or disappear from the market, you have to renegotiate, sometimes take a leap of faith when you have doubts, and accept the different phases of this relationship and even terminate it when you feel it is not the right thing anymore.
In a personal relationship the conditions change over time, the demands and needs change and you have to adapt, except this change or lose what you love, you have to renegotiate, sometimes take a leap of faith when you have doubts, and accept the different phases of this relationship and even terminate it when you feel it is not the right thing anymore.
So there are many parallels to be found between personal and business relationships.
Perhaps you do not need a relationship agreement with all the fine print like Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler in the Big Bang Theory, but once in a while, it is ok to put the emotions aside and evaluate what you have, where you have been and where you want to go with your relationship. See where it still works and where you need to adapt or renegotiate or maybe even end it…
🎶My Song of the Week
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
📚My Poem of the Week
Is by W. H. Auden (1907-1973)
The More Loving One
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.
👀Impressions
A beautiful sunset in Greece enjoying a view of the islands of Ithaka, Kefalonia, and Zakynthos…
If you would like to connect with me, find out more about the Enneagram and yourself, and how it can transform you and your life, I would be happy to take the time for a speed coaching call that you can reserve right here go to my website or simply hit reply and get in touch with me directly.
Wishing you a fabulous start to your weekend and just let me know your thoughts!
Yours
Tanja 🤗