ANYTHING WORTH LOVING ❣️
IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR
Love is the most exhilarating, infuriating, fulfilling, and sometimes utterly exhausting force in the universe and one of my favourite topics. It has inspired poetry, wars, revolutions, and at least half of the world’s greatest songs - many of which I have shared with you in my letters. It is the thing we crave, the thing we mourn, the thing that drives us to the very edges of our sanity - and yet, we cannot live without it.
The thing about love is that it isn’t passive. Love, real love, isn’t just a gentle, effortless drift into bliss. It’s an act of great courage. It requires resilience, patience, and, perhaps most importantly, a fighting spirit. Because anything worth loving is worth fighting for. And sometimes, that fight looks like a grand, cinematic declaration, and sometimes, it looks like deciding whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher.
Love is a Battlefield
We grow up believing that love should be easy, that the right person will come along and everything will simply fall into place. But love isn’t about finding the perfect person; it’s about embracing the imperfect person perfectly. And that? That takes work – a lot of work.
Sometimes, love is a quiet fight, the kind where you bite your tongue when you want to snap, where you choose understanding over being right, where you swallow your pride because, in the grand scheme of things, a disagreement about whose turn it is to take out the garbage isn’t worth sleeping back-to-back in silence. (But let’s be honest, it was definitely ‘their’ turn.)
Other times, love is a war waged against circumstance. Distance, timing, past wounds, obligations - love often finds itself battling forces that seem insurmountable. The universe doesn’t hand us love wrapped in a bow; it hands us raw potential and asks, “How much do you want this?”
And then, of course, there’s the most brutal battle of all: fighting for love when the person you love may not, or cannot, fight for it in the same way. That’s where faith comes in.
Faith: Is the Ultimate Love Weapon
Faith in love is what keeps us going when logic says to stop and let it go. It’s what makes someone hold on just a little longer, take just one more step, send just one more message, even when fear whispers, “What if this is all for nothing?”
Faith is also what convinces you that the unread message on WhatsApp probably just got lost in the digital void and not that the person is actively ignoring you while watching cat videos.
But faith is a double-edged sword. There is a fine line between fighting for love and fighting for an illusion. And knowing the difference? That’s where wisdom comes in.
Because sometimes, the bravest fight isn’t the one where you hold on - it’s the one where you let go. Because even when you win every battle, you can still lose the war.
Are You Fighting from Love or Fear?
Not all fights for love are the same. Sometimes, we fight from a place of deep, unwavering love, the kind that builds, nurtures, and strengthens. And sometimes, we fight from fear, the fear of being alone, the fear of losing something familiar, the fear that if we let go, we may never find love again.
Fighting from love means standing up for something beautiful, something that adds to your life, even if it’s challenging. It means working through difficulties with mutual respect, honesty, and the shared belief that what you have is worth the effort.
Fighting from fear, however, is exhausting. It feels like clinging to something that’s slipping through your fingers, like trying to convince someone to choose you when they already have one foot out the door. Fear-based love fights are desperate, painful, and often one-sided.
The hardest part is recognising the difference. Are you fighting to build something real? Or are you fighting against the inevitable? If the battle for love is costing you your self-worth, your peace, or your joy, then it may not be a fight worth continuing.
The Cost of the Fight
Fighting for love doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself. Too often, we believe that love means enduring pain, waiting endlessly, or diminishing our own needs to fit into someone else’s world. But true love does not and should not demand self-abandonment.
To fight for love in a healthy way means fighting for balance, for mutual effort, for a love that fuels rather than drains. It means recognising when the battle is about preserving something beautiful and when the fight is just keeping something from falling apart.
It also means knowing when you’re not in a battle at all because if you’re the only one swinging the sword while the other person is chilling on the sidelines, there’s a good chance you’re fighting a one-person war. And let’s be real: nobody looks good duelling air.
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: Fighting for love doesn’t always mean you win the person. Sometimes, the fight is about fighting for yourself, fighting for your dignity, your self-worth, and your ability to believe in love even when it breaks your heart.
Maybe you fought like hell for someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t fight for you in return. Perhaps you gave your heart, your time, your unwavering belief, and in the end, you stood there alone, wondering if you were a fool for trying. But here’s an ultimate truth: Love is never wasted.
Every fight teaches you something. Every heartbreak reshapes you. And if you loved fully, with everything you had, then you did not lose. You proved to yourself that your heart is capable of something magnificent. You fought, and that means you are alive.
Besides, at the very least, you now have enough emotional material to write a bestselling novel or at least dramatically stare out of windows while sipping tea.
So, What Now?
If you are in the trenches of love right now, whether that means fighting for someone, for a relationship, or simply for your own belief that love is still worth it, know this: You are incredibly brave.
Love is not for the weak. It demands everything and gives back tenfold when it is true. But even when it doesn’t? Even when love unravels, when the story doesn’t end the way you wanted it to, you are still whole.
So, fight for love when it is right. Let go when it is necessary. And never, ever stop believing in the power of love, because one day, it will fight for you, too.
Another Truth About Love
The real fight isn’t about holding onto love at all costs; it’s about knowing when love is worth fighting for and when it is worth setting free. Not all love stories are meant to last forever, but every single one shapes us. Every love we fight for leaves a mark, a lesson, a piece of who we are.
If you have fought for love and lost, you are not foolish - you are human. You are someone who dares to believe in something bigger than fear, bigger than ego, bigger than logic. And that? That is what makes you extraordinary.
So, love fiercely, fight wisely, and when the time comes, whether to hold on or to walk away, do it with your whole heart and for the right reasons. And if all else fails, at least you’ll have some dramatic love stories to tell at dinner parties.
Because in the end, anything worth loving is worth fighting for.
🎶My Song for you
I chose a song which was originally performed by Pat Benatar in this cover version by Raining Jane of the song Love Is A Battlefield.
For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Change & Evolve Letters!
📚My Poem for you
Is by Derek Walcott (1930-2017)
Love After Love
The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.
👀Impression
Perhaps Spock and Hippo are not always best friends but in the end, they do love one another and make it work 😻
Do you believe that anything worth loving is worth fighting for? Let me know your thoughts in the comments, leave a ❤️ or send me a message. I always love hearing from you.
Wishing you a happy Valentines Day and joyful weekend filled with love wherever you are.
Yours
Tanja 🤗
PS. You can now also find my podcast on Spotify
Change & Evolve and feel free to get in touch
