How much time do you want to spend with your partner? This essential question should be on the table from the very beginning – but in most cases, it is not. But no matter how much time you want to spend together, I believe…
is essential.
To leave one another enough space has many different aspects. What first comes to mind is
1. Physical space – this can be important as everyone needs alone time once in a while. It doesn’t mean that your partner does not enjoy your company or loves you less. We are all different and have different needs. As always, communication is crucial.
But leaving each other enough space can also mean
2. Recreational space – you do not have to share all of your partner’s hobbies or even enjoy all of the same things. If your partner loves to play golf and you don’t, then don’t spoil it for her/him by making your loved one feel guilty. Find something else to do during that time. Don’t force your partner to do things just because you think you have to spend more time together. It only becomes an issue if you have nothing in common and nothing you enjoy doing together, but that is a whole different story!
3. Emotional space – and this is the toughest one. We all have been in the situation when the film in our head gets the better of us and what our head is suggesting suddenly feels terribly real. Most of the time we have a handle on ourselves but once in a while, the green-eyed monster of jealousy shows its ugly and destructive face.
Cornering your loved one when you think something is wrong can be suffocating and overbearing. Approach your partner gently when you believe something is up and show you are there without forcing your help on her/him. Funny how I keep coming back to the essential – good communication.
If you would like to connect with me, find out more about the Enneagram and yourself, how it can transform you and your life, I would be happy to take the time for a speed coaching call that you can reserve right here go to my website or simply hit reply and get in touch with me directly.
Find out what your partner needs – it works both ways, so also what you need – and see where you have common ground and where you need to respect and accept boundaries.
Does it all sound too simple? Perhaps it does but, in the end, I truly believe it is… We make it so incredibly complicated with our expectations, our hopes, and wishes…
🎶My Song of the Day
Is by an artist I very much love and admire - Van Morrison!
📚My Poem of the Day
Is a fabulous love poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
How Do I Love Thee?
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
👀Impressions
Sometimes it needs the distance and the right space…
Have a great Saturday and remember to leave your partner enough space.
Yours
Tanja 🤗